Rebecca Brody
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My boyfriend and I recently got into a really heated fight and he pushed me. He apologized, but told me I shouldn't get in his face. It scared me, but I think it scared him even more, because he ran out of the apartment right after. My boyfriend was raised in an abusive household, and he witnessed his father beat on his mother. I don't think he is a violent man, but I am worried that he may turn into what he saw as a child. I love him and I don't know what to say or do. I don't think he would ever hurt me, but I can't say for sure.
Continue reading Luv Coach Q&A: Make Your Own Choices
Tagged as: biracial, domestic violence, DomesticViolence, luv coach, LuvCoach, rebecca brody, RebeccaBrody, relationships
Valencia
My husband doesn't believe that he should help me with the house cleaning or the kids. He thinks that is woman's work. We both work long hours, and when I come home I have to cook dinner, wash the kids and put them to bed. He sits down in front of the TV, and I do the laundry and pick up the house.
When we go to bed he gets mad when he wants to have sex and I'm too tired. I don't know how much longer I can take this. How can I get him to see that this is wrong?
-Malaina
Continue reading Luv Coach Q&A: Lazy Lovers!
Tagged as: lazy lovers, LazyLovers, luv coach, LuvCoach, relationship help, relationship hep, RelationshipHelp, womans work, WomansWork
Keturah
Continue reading Luv Coach Q&A: Fighting and Impotence
Welcome to the first episode of 'The Ring' with Rebecca Brody and Mason Jamal. Two of your relationship columnists at Black Voices lace up, face off and go at it on issues pertaining to men, women and couples.
Is there a thin line between being a "strong black woman" and an emasculating she-devil? Are women just throwing success in other people's faces? Brody and Mason take on the issue of strong black women and how the myth, the reality and drama affect relationships.
Is there a thin line between being a "strong black woman" and an emasculating she-devil? Are women just throwing success in other people's faces? Brody and Mason take on the issue of strong black women and how the myth, the reality and drama affect relationships.
Continue reading 'The Ring,' Episode 1: The Myth of the Strong Black Woman
I've been with my boyfriend for six years and we have two kids together. Our problem is our connection with each other. My boyfriend has the type of job where he sometimes goes out of town for maybe two to three days at a time. When he comes home we argue about the little things that are not even worth arguing about. But when he's away, we talk and send text messages on how much we love each other. However, as soon as he comes back, we argue like we never said those sweet things to each other. I'm not cheating on him and I know he's not cheating on me, but why aren't we enjoying each other when he's home? We are both strong headed people and we both have egos and pride. There are things he said I should change about myself and things I want him to change about himself. He says I need to change my attitude and stop being so mean, while I want him to be more romantic and compliment me, and make me feel beautiful. He doesn't talk down to me, he just really doesn't say anything at all about my looks. He says he wants more of my attention and I want more affection from him. How come when we are apart we seem to appreciate each other more, but when we are together we nit pick over everything?
Tracy
I have been married for about 30 years and recently found out one of my best friends is having an affair with my wife. His wife left him a couple years ago when she became a lesbian. I felt bad for him so I kept insisting that he spend time with me and my my wife. I started hearing friends tell me that they spotted him and my wife out together, but when I confronted them, they told me that they were just enjoying each others company. Then a short time later I found out that he had given her a cell phone so they could communicate without me knowing about it. I was heart broken and recommended that we try counseling since I did not want to give up on our marriage. We went to just two sessions before my wife said she refused to stop seeing my friend and that the counseling was a waste of time. I told her then she would have to move out and she did without any reluctance. This really broke my heart. I have filed for divorce and she has told me she is very happy with her new life. I did start seeing a counselor, but there are days when I feel like ending things because I don't like living with the constant pain. The loneliness is overwhelming sometimes and I feel like I'm living in a fog. I have trouble accepting the fact that my friend betrayed me like that and my wife, without hesitation, walked a way from a 30-year marriage. Also, please understand that I do not drink, I have been constantly employed for the past 36 years, and I have never laid a hand on my wife. I have been faithful and consider myself a homebody.
--Chuck
My husband and I were married for four years when we allowed his grown son, girlfriend and child to move in temporarily with us. From the first week I became the outsider in my own home. His girlfriend waited on my husband hand and foot (he loved it); I worked a full-time job and she sat on my couch all day reading. Of course, I was resentful and voiced my opinion. She would cook for 3 people knowing there were four adults in the home, and she wouldn't do any housework. When I complained, I was the bad guy. My husband agreed with me behind closed doors that they were being disrespectful to me, but would not say it to them. On my birthday I gave them notice that they had a month and a half to move out, and 2 days later my husband threw me out and changed the locks on the doors. She told him she was afraid of me. Two weeks later he filed a domestic violence charge against me, which will stay on my record. The judge made him move out and gave me the house until the divorce is over, so he now lives in an apartment. My biggest problem is, I still love him and would love nothing more than to have my old husband back. He says he loves me but can't live with me because of his family. How do I move on knowing I still love him, and that he loves me. He won't even talk to me on the phone. I feel it's because he still loves me and is afraid to give it a chance because of his family.
-Kimberly
-Lisa
Continue reading Luv Coach Q&A: Catching Him With His Pants Down
My problem is that I overheard my husband say he wanted to sleep with my sister. He never actually did, but he no longer made love to me, resorted to drinking heavily and paid me no attention or affection. I stayed faithful. Then he went to jail. I still was faithful for 10 months. I was working 20 hour days, and visiting him and maintaining a home. We have been together for 18 years. Then I slept with someone else and thought that because he was showing me attention and affection that I loved him. I soon realized I didn't. I am still very much in love with my husband and want our marriage and family. Now he says he doesn't want me. I am 42 , he is 38 and is now sleeping with an 18 year old, which he has been doing for the past 3 weeks. He even had the gall to tell me he feels like he is cheating on her after making love to me. I feel as if I am losing my mind. Yes, I admit I have lied to him in the past, but I have been faithful again for well over a year. Help me please!
Tracy
Continue reading Luv Coach Q&A: Is the Marriage Over?
Tagged as: sexual dysfunction, SexualDysfunction
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