Gay marriage is an issue that promises to rack the body politic in profound ways. It touches the very core of our American value system – family, (freedom of) religion, sex. And like slavery, which was legal in some states, not legal in others, gay marriage is a festering time bomb which needs to come to some sort of resolution, and hopefully one we can all accept. Out of 50 states, only a handful legally recognize gay marriage -- Connecticut, Vermont, New Jersey, Hawaii, Maine, Washington, New Hampshire, and of course, California, after Proposition 8, is now pending.

Judge Penny Brown Reynolds, the no-nonsense, racially ambiguous (until she opens her mouth, that is) and even wise adjudicator, who can be seen daily on 'Family Court,' allowed us some insight on the legal issues around gay marriage, how it affects the family and how the issue of gay marriage should be framed, especially in the black community. An ordained Baptist minister as well as judge, Judge Penny's answers may surprise you.

What is the state of gay marriage in legal terms today?

Well, this issue is decided state by state. Most gay couples will go and get legal documents whereby they can have a union for legal purposes only but it's not recognized by the state as a marriage. Generally they do it for the liquidation of property or for medical reasons. If you are hospitalized, generally hospitals will only allow close relatives to visit or make decisions; without those documents [partners] have no legal rights. In the state of California we all are very much aware that there was a deal that was recently enacted that made marriages between gay couples illegal and therefore nullifying the opportunity for people to be able to marry.

By Angela Bronner, BlackVoices.com

Kim Osorio made history as the first female editor of 'The Source' magazine. During her tenure at the top of the "Hip Hop Bible," there were sales records broken and new territory charted. Apparently, there was also a crazy, dysfunctional underside to the glitz and glamour.

In her new memoir, 'Straight From the Source: An Expose From the Former Editor-in-Chief of the Hip-Hop Bible,' (Simon and Shuster), Osorio recounts a work environment where women were belittled, cursed out, and harassed, as well as a blow-by-blow description of how the magazine took a nose dive into bankruptcy, primarily due to an ill-fated "beef" with rap superstar Eminem.

While recounting the story of how a girl raised in the Bronx went on to get a law degree and rose to the helm of the most prestigious rap magazine, Osorio also speaks candidly about her love affairs with rappers Nas and 50 Cent (the latter responded to the book in a very graphic, derogatory way). She also describes how she struggled with the extreme highs and lows of her work environment, weighing a fly, well-paying job against the very different standards to which women and men seem to be held.

By Tim'm T. West, Special to BlackVoices.com

I am one of the lucky ones: lucky, brave or both. This July, I celebrated my 36th birthday in the company of family, friends, and my partner Dave. The term "partner" doesn't rest well in the ears of some black families, but I am lucky. My family loves me for who I am, no matter what.

A few years ago my small, tight-knit family, consisting of two sisters and four brothers, as well as extended family, started a reunion for the generations to come. This year, being only the second time we've met, I created an online listserve, "The Blessed Wests", to shorten the distance of time and space when we are not together.

This year, I took the initiative to set the tone for the "The Blessed Wests". A gay man, I realize that getting my family to honor my partnership with Dave, a man I have known since 2004, but have only been partnered with since early 2008, might take some time. At 31, Dave is pretty new to the whole "coming out" process. Encouraged by the security of my love, and my desire to no longer love "in hiding", I'm grateful that he trusts my guidance as we aspire to build a family: a commitment ceremony, a home, and adoption are aspirations we both share.

My family is a Christian family full of preacher-men and good church women. I respect their beliefs as they respect my decision to live my life as an out gay man.

The 25 and older crowd know Rev. Run (Joseph Simmons) from legendary rap group Run-DMC. Those of another generation are more familiar with he and his wife, Justine Simmons from MTV's award-winning reality TV show, 'Run's House.'

In their excellent new book -- 'Take Back Your Family: A Challenge to America's Parents,' Rev. Run and Justine go deeper than their show offering parents advice and tidbits on successful parenting, including honest dialogue on blended families, the story of how they met, living without money, and living with money and keeping their children grounded.

"Family is the one game where everyone is on an equal playing field," says Rev. Run. "Black or white, rich or poor, ugly or beautiful, everyone really has the same opportunity and ability to raise a happy, loving family."

What prompted the two of you to write the book?

Rev. Run: People were just constantly telling us how much they enjoy the show and how much they love our parenting style. I just thought it was a good way to get the message out about family and being together. I didn't want to take the Dr. Phil approach and say "this is what you must do," I just wanted people my age to realize that maybe they're missing out on something if they're not paying attention to their family. If you look at my show you might think "Oh wait a minute, I have a family at home too. Maybe I should pay more attention to my family and not just on my career." So I just wanted to let people see another side of parenting and being with family.

By Krystal Freeman, Special to BlackVoices.com

I learned to sag my jeans just right by watching the men around me. I studied the way they rocked tilted fitted caps over crisp tapers and deep waves, eyeing my father most intently. He was so precise about matching his kicks with neatly creased jeans and "throwback" jerseys. By fifteen I'd nearly stolen his style and his swagger.

It never occurred to me that having such insider knowledge was enough to get me killed, until I read about the brutal murder of Sakia Gunn.

Five years ago, Sakia, a 15-year old girl who "dressed like a boy," was attacked while waiting for a Newark, New Jersey bus after a night out with friends. The girls were approached by two men in a car who made uninvited sexual advances. When the girls declined, stating that they were lesbians, 30-year old Richard McCullough fatally stabbed Sakia while shouting homophobic slurs. She bled out at the intersection of Broad and Market during the wee hours of Mother's Day morning.

This May is the fifth anniversary of the murder of Sakia Gunn. She would have just celebrated her 20th birthday.

The recent movie 'Run Fatboy Run' may be remarkable for the issue it doesn't focus on. Thandie Newton plays a pregnant bride who's jilted at the altar by Simon Pegg and later falls for Hank Azaria. While she's black and her two suitors are white, the story hardly mentions race and focuses on Pegg's need to run a marathon and prove that he can finish something, thereby winning back Newton's heart.

Is it possible that attitudes about interracial relationships have changed so much since the 2006 movie 'Something New,' and certainly since 1967's 'Guess Who's Coming To Dinner' -- both of which were all about familial pressure to not date outside of your race -- that the subject doesn't warrant mention?

When we broached the topic around the AOL offices, we started discussing how tough it can still be to date interracially and focus on attitudes that can doom an interracial relationship.

Our conversation is just the beginning of the discussion, though. Let us know what drama you have to deal with dating outside your race. -- by Jennifer Fields, Ken Gibbs, Neil Gladstone and Alexis Stodghill

TOP 13 WAYS TO DOOM AN INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIP

Being unprepared for how the families will react
Alexis: When I was in the fourth grade, one of my older relatives said to me, 'I hear you have a white boyfriend.' This wasn't a boyfriend, it was just a guy I sat near in class, but my cousin couldn't see that. She asked, 'Are you losing your identity?' And when that kind of thing happens, any kind of joy of bringing someone home to be with your family is somehow tainted.
Ken: Funny thing is that I think white families are more accepting because they view it as a "phase."

Not understanding of the physical and cultural differences of people of different races
Jennifer: If I have to explain over and over why I'm not getting into the ocean to swim because of my hair, over and over, it's like "Enough already, don't you get it?"
Ken: This might seem odd, but here's something that has stuck out to me when I've been dating interracially. With one out of every 10 black men being in jail, or damn close, it's impossible not to be familiar with the prison system and criminal culture, as a black man from a predominantly black working class neighborhood, it's strange to watch "The Wire" and have feelings of nostalgia while your significant other is watching with shock and awe.

Race is just a fetish
Jennifer: It's always a tip-off if he only dates black women.

By Rebecca Brody, Certified Empowerment Coach

A guy that I have been dating claims that he can't get hard with a condom. What is a polite way to say that I don't have sex without a condom?

When a man tells you that he does not want to use a condom, the message he is sending you is that he does not value his own life, and he certainly does not value yours. We live in an era where STD's are easily spread, but we have the means to protect ourselves. If you care about yourself, you will not put yourself at risk. The best answer is to tell your man that you only have sex with a condom, because you value yourself and you value him, and you want both of you to live a long and healthy life.

When do guys expect girls to start paying for a dinner?

By Rebecca Brody, Certified Empowerment Coach

Weddings are an opportunity to bask in the glory of love's communion, so when my boyfriend invited me to his cousin's wedding, I saw this as a big step in our relationship.

Since I would be meeting his entire family, I felt the need to make an impression. I picked out a gorgeous new dress in shimmering brown satin, paired it with my brown snake skin heels, and gold accessories to match. I would be elegant and chic.

We arrive the evening before and join everyone on the beach for an old fashioned clam bake. The drinks are flowing, as the introductions commence. I plaster on my most dazzling smile as we move from cousin to aunt to brother and so on. Each time my boyfriend leaves, I feel a spark of panic, only to have it subside when some one steps in to make conversation.

The day of the wedding, I am already in a slightly emotional state.

By Rebecca Brody, Certified Empowerment Coach

When my boyfriend suggested we head to Vermont for a snowboarding mini break, I was more than enthused. I take to the ocean like a baby in the womb, so the chance to cultivate a relationship with the snow inspired thoughts of a romantic winter get away.

My boyfriend and I are in the honeymoon phase of dating, so much of the four-hour drive to Smugglers Notch (a name which sends me into a fit of giggles), is spent kissing, touching, and smiling. We arrive in time for a late dinner, and then snuggle up to catch some shut eye. Unable to sleep, I was brimming with excitement. It didn't matter that I had never been snow boarding. I had taken a ski lesson several years ago, and had managed to go from bunny slope to intermediate trail in one day. This would be a breeze.