"an abortion can cost a ballin' n**ga up to 50gs maybe a 100. Gold diggin' bi**hes be getting pregnant on purpose. #STRAPUP my n**gas!"
One hundred and thirty-three characters of venom with 7 left to spare. Never have Maybach chasers been 'put on blast' so efficiently. Recognize Twitter greatness when you see it...
Sure, Egyptians and other Arab activists have used Twitter as a platform to spark democratic revolutions across the Middle East. That's cool, but just as long as 'Ye keeps throwing Molotov cocktails through the windowpane of all things less important. After all, someone has to keep Twitter from taking itself too seriously. And who better and more brazen to do that than 'Ye by going in on vexing topics like groupie sociology and abortion extortion?
I must admit that when my editor first shot me the tweet, I thought, 'wow, this reads like a drug-induced pro-life rant ghost-tweeted by Charlie Sheen. Then I decoded it and realized this is just Kanye being Kanye - and the beauty of it is that he was probably sober.
I mean, anyone can speak their mind in such an unfiltered way when he or she is intoxicated, but only 'Ye and 'Che (as in Dick Cheney) have the chutzpah to do it while drinking bottled water. Waging war on groupies or non-terrorists who become terrorists because you treated them like terrorists - either way, 'Ye and 'Che don't play. They go H.A.M. I digress.
Despite the extra stank he put on it, maybe 'Ye has a point. Get past the salty language for the moment and consider the frustration that he's channeling for the fraternity of the young, rich and reckless.
Babies as a bargaining chip: wow. Our ancestors must be beaming with pride right now. But let's not saddle the women with this 100 percent. Just because they carry the baby for nine months doesn't mean they carry the full weight. It invokes the question: if the women in question are gold-digging opportunists, what does that make the men that find put themselves in such situations where they are being extorted for "50gs maybe a 100"? Not candidates for the smartest men in the room. It should be noted at this point that 'Ye informed the Twitterverse in a subsequent update that this never happened to him personally.
Here is the thing: the grimy ethics of groupie culture is only made possible by the equally grimy sexual appetite of the young, rich and reckless. And bring two individuals from these respective groups together enough times and eventually there will be a bump - a baby bump or "guess the STD" bump. It's inevitable. This is why men get married - to save themselves from themselves. Love is a close second.
But it's kind of head-scratching how a 133-character tweet - with spaces included, mind you - has turned into a 3036-character response, without spaces. I guess, in Twitter culture, this is what they might call the 'tail wagging the whale.'
Personally, I'm just happy that Kanye is keeping the social networking site grounded by treating it like the online vending machine that it is and dispensing junk food for thought as it was originally intended.
Mason Jamal writes about men, women and popular culture. For more of his musings, visit www.masonjamal.com. To have his commentary delivered to your e-mail, subscribe here. Keep up with Mason's daily thoughts and observations by following him on Twitter @masonsays.