
Generally speaking, female communication can be very difficult for men to decipher due to the complex way women express themselves. This complexity usually comes as a result of one of two reasons. First, women are usually far more detail oriented than men, who typically communicate by getting "straight to the point."
For example, a woman could attempt to tell her man about a certain co-worker who is bothering her at work, and somehow the story leads her to tell him details about what the co-worker had on, how many children she has, and what she ate for lunch. Sometimes when women expresses themselves, they include excessive details which can make it difficult for a man to pay attention or get the point she was trying to make.
The other most common reason men find it difficult to understand the language of a female is that we don't always say what we truly mean. It's baffling for a man to hear a woman say 'yes' and mean 'no', or say 'no' but really mean 'yes'. So in an attempt to crack the code, here is a simple guide to understanding the language of women, or what we like to call the 'Female Dictionary.'
'Nevermind, Forget It'
Usually said by a woman when she's reached her first level of anger. When said, it actually means not only should you NOT forget it, but quickly figure out what you did wrong and apologize before her anger escalates.
Ex: Did you get home at 4 am? Well you should have--nevermind, forget it.
'Excuse Me?'
This is said as a response to something a female didn't like and also serves as a warning for a man to explain what he just said immediately or retract it all together.
Synonym: What the hell did you just say to me?
'I Love You'
Women do not really say this unless they truly mean it. So 'I love you,' simply means I love you.
'How Are You And Your Girlfriend?'
Women never really care about the other woman, so if she is posing this question she's subtly asking, "When are you two breaking up?"
Ex: Wow! We haven't talked since we dated two years ago, how are you and your girlfriend doing?
'I Didn't Hear My Phone'
Usually used as an excuse for when a woman doesn't want to speak with you. She heard her phone and she just didn't want to hear your voice.
Ex: What? You called? I didn't hear my phone, it was in my purse.
'It's Cool'
When you do something wrong and gets a woman to a point where she is overtly calm and cool about the situation, approach with caution.
Ex: I passed by your house last night and I saw your ex's car there. No, you don't have to explain, it's cool.
'I'm Done'
Sadly, most women are bluffing when they say these words. Often times a woman is not emotionally equipped to end the relationship yet, and uses this phrase as a warning. It usually ends up meaning, "I'm trying to get your attention, and I'll allow you one more chance to make it right."
Synonyms: It's over, I can't do this, I give up.
'I'm Mad, I'll Just Talk To You Later'
Women love to talk and to communicate whether or not they are upset. If she says she no longer wants to continue the conversation, what she's really saying is that she wants you to initiate conversation. Either way, it's a request for the man to call or text to make sure she's okay.
'I'm Not Looking For A Relationship'
While some women would prefer to be single, most would never shun a good man unless past experiences have her in a bad place. This statement is actually a public service announcement for a man to know she's scared about being hurt again.
Synonyms: I'm just focusing on me, I'm sick of the BS
'Do You'
She's past the point of any type of anger or frustration and has already made up in her mind that she's ready to move on. At this point she's already 'doing her' and no longer cares how you choose to behave.
Synonyms: Makes no difference to me, go right on
'I'll Be Ready In Five Minutes'
The biggest lie a woman will ever tell. As women, we want to look nice for out man, while slightly making other women a little jealous. Five minutes at minimum will be at least another half hour.
Formula: For the correct arrival time, take the amount of minutes she says and add 20 minutes.
Shirea L. Carroll is a journalist who has written for Essence, VIBE, Washington Post's TheRoot.com, XXL's Juicy, and AOL. Reporting on everything from music and entertainment to celebrity and love, she has interviewed some of today's biggest celebrity names. Find the NJ native on her blog Invite Only, or follow her on Twitter @InviteOnly to find out "who is and isn't invited."

Comments: (80)
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By: Ha ha on 1/05/2011 11:56AM
This is kinda funny. However, it doesnt apply to all women or all situations.
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By: lando j on 1/06/2011 2:44AM
Thanks for the info sis' Ineeded that!
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By: joanie on 1/09/2011 9:22AM
Nevermind, Forget it.
Translation: If I have to explain this to you it means a confrontation that's going to get ugly because I'm going to have to accuse you of something pretty unpleasant. I really don't want to go there, but geeze I'd like you to just own what you did so we can move on.. otherwise I'll end up stewing about this.
Excuse me?
Translation: Better rethink what you just said because you are wrong 9 ways to Sunday.
I'm Done
Translation: We deal with this right now if you want us to go further. Do nothing and that tells me everything I need to know. If you want out, you got it.
I'm Mad and I'll just talk to you Later
Translation: I know I'm angry right now and I want this issue fixed. If I talk now later I'll be saying "sorry I didn't mean that" instead of us talking about what pissed me off in the first place.
And.. sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
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By: coco on 1/06/2011 11:10AM
Did the author really pen this? I only asked because it sounds vaguely familar to an email foward I received years ago.
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By: fr33 thinking on 1/06/2011 11:24AM
This very well could be forwarded because I think I seen something like this before months ago.
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By: Bill on 1/08/2011 8:33PM
... and may again someday!
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By: A. Montague on 1/09/2011 2:17AM
'....figure out what you did wrong and apologize before her anger escalates...'. Oh- so he must take all responsibility for her emotional state and mood swings? Which allows her to remain in perpetual toddlerhood-'you made me mad, I don't have to manage my emotional responses, you do!" ?
The popular myth that men are the ones who do all the manipulating and mental abuse gets reinforced by such nonsense. I'm a single man who requires a woman to be an emotional adult, so I don't have to abide such foolishness-thank God!
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By: Scott on 1/08/2011 8:24PM
what does it mean when a woman says "I don't care"..like when a man asks if she wants to go somewhere and she says " I don't Care"???
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By: jgwluvs2shop on 1/08/2011 8:57PM
Scott, she most certainly DOES care, and it means she would rather have root canal -- without anesthesia -- than go where you suggested. Best way to deal with this is to ask her where SHE would like to go...then you can compromise. Hope that helps.
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