
Many couples -- such as Terius 'The-Dream' Nash and Christina Milian, Fantasia and Antwaun Cook, and even Kanye West and Amber Rose -- would have benefited from knowing when to pump the brakes. Most recently, singer Monica and L.A. Lakers player Shannon Brown are a classic example of this. Monica -- who has already tatted Brown's name on herself -- became engaged to him after dating for only four months. After receiving a great deal of criticism from fans on Twitter, the 'Everything to Me' singer was quick to defend her decision.
"We realize people will have their opinions, but we know who we are & who's we are," she tweeted. "We pray 2 an awesome God 2gether....I'm realistic enough about life to know my journey has just begun. I don't have anything else to say about it 2 people who judge. If u worked on urself u wouldn't even see me."
Celebrities aren't the only victims to acting swiftly in love, many of us have been guilty of the same thing. When feelings are so fresh, attempting to apply logic almost always proves futile. We either find ourselves, like Monica, on our way to the alter and defending our actions, or snapping to our senses after realizing that things aren't really what they appear to be.
Love has a way of causing us to lose our common sense. Sometimes we wind up making decisions based on what feels right versus what actually is right. Rule of thumb: If you think you are moving too fast ( it's been less than six months), you probably are. Here are seven tell tale signs you're rushing into love.
1. You've said "I know it's been ___ days/weeks, but I feel like it's been forever."
Time does fly when you're having fun, but real and deep love takes time to foster. Slow down!
2. You've moved the relationship to the next level and you haven't introduced him/her to your family or friends.
Do you really expect to inform everyone about your ring and your man/lady at the same time?
3. When someone asks you to talk about them you begin with, "I think I have met my husband/wife."
Chile, it'll be ex-husband/wife if you don't slow down.
4. Everyone is telling you that you are moving way too fast.
If your close friends or family -- the people who know you best -- think you're rushing into things, they just may be on to something. Listen to the people you trust the most, they have your best interest in mind.
5. You fell in love over a vacation.
Although the time spent was unforgettable, it is usually short lived. We all know what happened to Terry McMillan...
6. You don't know his/her middle name, but you've already talked about moving in together.
If you don't know the basic facts about the person, they what makes you think you're ready to join your worlds? You could be looking for apartments and be completely unaware of the fact that she uses five different aliases in three other states.
7. You talk to each other and start every convo with, "I never felt this way about anyone."
Warning: This is also known as blind infatuation - Approach with caution.
Shirea L. Carroll, is a published journalist who has written for Essence, VIBE, Washington Post's Theroot.com, XXL's Juicy, and AOL. Reporting on everything from music and entertainment to celebrity and love, she's interviewed some of today's biggest celebrity names. Find the NJ native on her blog Invite Only, or follow her on Twitter @InviteOnly to find out "who is and isn't invited."

Comments: (17)
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By: vj on 12/04/2010 4:07AM
Good article; goal accomplished, its makes you think! Self help articles are useful in that they allow a quick read and assessment of behavior and what that behavior may imply. This includes Monica’s point of view; “we know who we are & who’s we are”, a greater foundation, in my opinion, from which to explore even the possibility of love (i.e., 4, 6, or more or less months). You would have to speculate that the responses to the questions here are from those (him or her) not in this place or are they? Hum, does knowing who you are allow you to explore the possibility of love when and wherever it meets you in your life journey? Absolutely, falling in love, “may last for a season or even a life time, but it’s always for a reason”. So, if you meet love from a place of knowing who you are, you’re better prepared to weather the storm in your journey towards finding “love”. This article presents questions that if asked your responses may cause others to pause; it also gives credence to when “we know who we are” their reservations want much matter because you truly know what fills you up. What a great place!
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By: ANONYMOUS on 12/04/2010 2:46PM
YEAH I'm experiencing this right now! He's 64 and I'm 46, EVERYONE says he's too old but we are having a BALL! He feels just like a 'playground' to me... he talks and I laugh. We not only walk togehter holding hands but our hands are 'swinging'. I wanted to see what 64 was like and this man is the best man I've EVER been with! I feel like a young 'hottie' with an old good looking man!
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By: FRANK on 12/05/2010 10:49PM
I THINK SPEED IS SECONDARY TO WHETHER THE LOVE IS TRUE, MUTUAL, AND HAS STRONG POTENTIAL FOR BEING MUTUALLY GOOD FOR THE LONG RUN...
IF THE RELATIONSHIP ISN'T ABOUT GOING TO THE ALTAR...FINE!...AS LONG AS NOBODY IS TRICKED AND BOTH PEOPLE CAN DEAL WITH THE RELATIONSHIP TYPE....
RELATIONSHIP EXPERTS CAN MAKE BIG MONEY WRITING BOOKS AND GIVING ADVICE BUT THERE ARE NO "PERFECT FORMULAS, RULES, TIMINGS, OR PROCEDURES" FOR EVERYONE...THE HUMAN PSYCHE IS TOO COMPLEX FOR THAT
ALL PEOPLE NEED TO DO IS PROTECT THEIR HEALTH, FAMILY, AND ASSESTS...
LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO MISS OUT ON FUN AND PASSION, SO LONG AS ONE ISN'T RULED AND DESTRYED BY IT...
IF A GUY HAS THAT CUTE LITTLE SWEET FOX, IN THE PICTURE...THE LAST THING TO THINK ABOUT RELATIONSHIP CALCULUS AND MEASURING THE LOVE WITH SCIENTIFIC MEASURES!!!!!!!
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By: levelsone on 12/04/2010 9:16AM
A good blog. Some people seem to simply rush into love faster than others without actually thinking about the possible boobytraps along the way.~ I think also that folks naturally fall in love at different rates while a few are prone to infatuation, calling it love.
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By: cmichee144 on 12/04/2010 7:20PM
I was looking for a little more insight...or maybe those 7 signs didnt apply to me.
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By: CeCe on 12/04/2010 8:55PM
I've met couples that met and were married within a year and they have been married for decades. I've met couples that dated for years before they got married and now they're divorced. I do believe that people should use wisdom, but it's not for anyone else to decide what is too soon or too long for someone else. Sometimes people have been through enough mess in life that it doesn't take them long to know when their love is real. I say pray about it and let God lead you.
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By: William on 12/04/2010 10:41PM
Ce Ce- Well stated! Each situation is different.
At some point in life you know what is real and what is fake. Why miss out because "society" says its wrong. Be your own decision maker.Its your life.
Anonymous-Congrats to you for understanding that its not the age...its the individual. There are many mature, refined men who are gentelman that are not considered because of age. More women should emulate your example instead of leting "society" dictate to them what IT thinks you should do/have. Then they would know what you know and have what you have....
Good people always seem to find each other!!
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By: David on 12/05/2010 12:59AM
@William, Anonymous and CeCe:
My situation is the reverse of what Anonymous is experiencing. I am a handsome, very mature and accomplished 35 year old man who has fallen deeply in love with a 67 year old woman who breathes life in me because of her positive and optimistic outlook and enjoyment of life. She, too, is very much in love with me. My relatives and friends constantly tell me that I am entirely too young for her and that she is entirely too old for me. But contrary to how people and society feel, we complete each other and are very happy together, and have begun to discuss marriage. I truly believe that I have found my soulmate and she feels the same way about me. Should both of us follow are hearts or give in to the disapproving attitudes of our dissenting relatives and friends?
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By: let'sB4real on 12/05/2010 1:55AM
to David,
Your situation is unique, and is a cause for caution. Although you feel this is your soulmate, and there is nothing sweeter than someone that appears to complete your sentences, dots your I's and crosses your T's...do proceed with CAUTION. You must look ahead to the future & consider what this relationship will be in 5,10 or 15 years from now. In 10 short years, your older woman (or wife) will be 77 and you a young 45. Many 77 years are young at heart & vibrant & alive; yet many are are sick, and possibly deceased. As long as you proceed slowly and with your eyes wide open, prepared for whatever the future might hold...then I say; make your move. As William stated; this is your life. Make your own decisions; but heed other's advice and accept it for what it is (a concern for you). Good Luck and All the Best!
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By: David on 12/05/2010 9:23AM
@let'sB4real:
Thank you for your concern and advice regarding my unique situation. Yes, I have thought about everything you have said, as well as others who have made similar comments about my relationship with my 67 year old friend. Virtually everyone thinks that my friend and I will not be able to enjoy a healthy, enjoyable, happy and protracted relationship together due to her age but, on the other hand, it is POSSIBLE...although improbable...that she might not be able to enjoy much of a life with me due to my age. Life is full of chances, opportunities, twists and turns both seen and unforeseen. Life is also full of much sorrow, pain, joy and happiness. And, whenever joy and happiness occur in your life, it is my attitude that you should seize upon the opportunity and run with it, and let whatever happens in the future take its course. A few days or years of happiness and pleasure in this life are preferable to a lifetime of pain and misery.
I reread what 56 year old Anonymous had to say about her relationship with her 64 year old male friend, and then applied your remarks about my relationship with a 67 year old woman to the relationship that Anonymous has with her 64 year old male friend. In just 10 short years, Anonymous will be a young 56 years old and her male friend will be 74 years old. I have been told that a woman does not reach her PEAK until she reaches her mid 40's. If Anonymous' friend is an African American, statistically he is expected to be in poor health, if not already dead given the life expectancy of African American men in this country which is approximately 69 years of age...the shortage life expectancy of all people in the country. But, on the other hand, the situation could be reversed with Anonymous.
I am wondering if your reservation about a 35 year old man being in a relationship with a 67 year old woman versus a 46 year old woman being in a relationship with a 64 year old man influenced your attitude towards my relationship with my 67 year old friend? Aren't Anonymous and I in a somewhat similar relationship whereby anything could happen?
In closing, I want you to know that I sincerely appreciate your concern and advice. Thank you!
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