From The Grio: Last week, a YouTube video called 'Black Marriage Negotiations' spread like a forest fire among the African American middle-class set. With posts on Facebook, Essence.com and many points in between, the three-minute-plus animated video, in which a professional black woman dictates what she requires in a mate to a professional black man, has elicited strong reactions.
In response to the poll that the site blackandmarriedwithkids.com conducted asking whether the video was both funny and sad, just sad or just funny, Jbngrace wrote: "I refuse to vote because I don't think it's funny and the only sad thing about it is that it's getting real old hearing this stereotype of black women perpetuated when I know plenty of black women who neither think nor behave like this."
Indeed the animated female has become an all-too-familiar stereotype, especially in the last two years. Earlier this year, ABC News ran a special report on the single black female. Her plight, as noted by the popular black gossip site Bossip, even attracted the attention of Russian TV. And, of course, she's been the subject of numerous newspaper, magazine and Internet articles. But what exactly is the problem?
"I can't find any good black men," the highly educated black female says to a potential mate in the video, who asks, "What are you looking for?" As she rattles off a checklist that includes a six-figure income, integrity, good character, good credit and loves his mom, requirements he actually meets, she later details many restrictions including little to no sex.
As she reiterates her demands, he notes the irony of it all, "Wow that's confusing. Career-minded, strong, independent woman who doesn't need a man, but you expect to have your way through life paid for by your man." Yet, when he finally submits to her unrealistic wish list, she tells him, "You're too weak. I need a man with a backbone who won't let me run all over him. Besides you're not 6'5, and that's a deal breaker."
Another video, 'Black Marriage Negotiations (Woman's Perspective),' detailing the black man's desire to have a wife who works but doesn't make more money than him, cooks every day, primarily raises the kids and keeps a "flat" stomach, hasn't proven nearly as popular. In fact, yet another video 'Black Marriage Negotiations Pt. II,' which shows a white coworker making moves on the potential black mate, has gotten far more play on YouTube.
Continue Reading About This Phenom @ The Grio


Comments: (14)
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By: pimpinperry2 on 10/18/2010 4:35PM
This video summarizes the mixed message that balck women put out. Also notice in the video the women did not bring anything to the table outside of her two degrees. In the economic climate that we're in today we know that that those colleges degrees are no longer the ticket to middle class.
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By: chicyou on 10/19/2010 7:33AM
As she rattles off a checklist that includes a six-figure income, integrity, good character, good credit and loves his mom, requirements he actually meets, she later details many restrictions including little to no sex.I am female, 20,a young and big beautiful woman in US,i just wonder if i can meet a man who can love me here,because i am single at present and i need someone’s support..i uploaded my hot photos on kissbbw.com under the name nancy099,maybe you want to check out my photos first!
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By: westfall on 10/18/2010 4:57PM
This cartoon hyperbole is obviously a joke and has included all of the stereotypes that some feel defines the black woman. Why is being single, successful, and black considered a"plight." Being single is not a disease. Black females that I know and I am sure do not know are loving, giving, strong and with sense of purpose. I hope some of you don't jump on this and see this as the truth because it could not be more wrong. And another thing...when using Bible quotes, they should be quoted correctly. The Bible stresses that husbands and wives should submit one to another.
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By: john on 10/26/2010 6:50AM
Great video
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By: vdog on 10/18/2010 6:32PM
There are PLENTY OF BLACK WOMEN WHO DON'T ACT LIKE THIS but there are also PLENTY WHO DO. I believe that all of us knows AT LEAST ONE WOMAN like the one the video portrays- WANTS THE WORLD BUT IS BRINGING NOTHING TO THE TABLE. The ones who act like this better WAKE UP because the number of SUCKAS out there who go for it is on the decline.
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By: Li Wright on 10/18/2010 7:11PM
I don't know where you all live, but in Chicago all the black women are with white and non-black men.
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By: Mike on 10/19/2010 1:27AM
What part of chicago you live in LOL....I rarely see a sister with anything other than a black guy...
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By: ((( HiRoader ))) on 10/19/2010 10:24AM
On that ABC News ran a special report on the single, black females... One woman in Atlanta (infested w/HBCU's)is a cheerleader for the Atlanta Falcons, After shaking her pom-poms she runs out the stadium to her Asst DA job, after locking up a few brothers (courthouse full of AA LAWYERS)then runs to her "I can't find a good black man group".., How blind or victim-minded is that?....
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By: david on 10/19/2010 11:13AM
Every black decent hardworking married or single black male in America can identify with this man and knows several women, including his wife, her sisters and most of her friends. Oprah, Terry Mcmillan et. al has ruined an entire generation of black women, and we will never recover.
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By: Robert on 10/19/2010 5:59PM
The point is to show that both parties are only parroting what they hear and see Westerners do. They will never come to a conclusion, because what they are doing is culturally awkward and socially unnatural. The creator is deliberately using monotone voices to emphasize cold -corporate Anglicization. The man represents the confusion and frustration Blacks, Latinos, Asians and Africans face coping with and reiterating Western morals and principles. The woman represents the expectations that Anglican society has placed on all who live under its voice. She is aggressive, subversive, and demanding. However she also represents post integration and immigration, where the poisonous American corporate structuring has turned most women into robotic WASPs.
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