Marques Houston Talks Gender Roles, Communication in Relationships

R&B singer/actor Marques Houston, who just released his fifth solo album 'Mattress Music' last week, used his newest body of work to express the passion and pleasure of relationships, and hopes his audience will make a few babies in the process. However, amidst all the XXX lyrics and arousing beats, Houston, 29, revealed to us that without solid relationships, the act of sex is meaningless. Admitting he's never been a fan of casual sex and never had a one night stand, even with the temptations of his career, Marques said he's guy who believes those involved in amazing relationships will always have amazing sex -- if and when men take on the responsibility to listen to their women.

Listening, especially in relationships, is an art -- it's something that needs to be cultivated and maintained in order to keep your skills sharp. Houston admits that after years of dating, including his current two-year relationship with a woman who is rumored to be his fiancee, he's learned that listening is a must. Houston spoke to Black Voices about deconstructing the myth of the "complicated woman:"

What's the number one mistake men tend to make in interacting with a woman?
Marques Houston: Fellas don't listen enough. That's why men always end up losing their women. All you really have to do is ask questions and listen.

Would you say you've mastered the art of listening?
MH: I've grown up with women my whole life. On the set of 'Sister, Sister,' and on 'Cuts' I was surrounded by women. I always like to sit and talk with a woman, hear their conversations [with each other], making me really good with women. Women are easier than we think, knowing how to react to them is easier than you think if you just listen to them.

Why is that so hard for men to do?
MH: Women do tend to talk a lot -- I'll say at least more than men -- and women know how to say slick stuff to make a man aggressive. Women need to understand we have testosterone, and lot of times a woman can just talk, talk, talk, not understanding the aggression we have that they can spark in us, especially when you love somebody. When you love somebody and they talk to you the wrong way, it can be a disaster.

However, some men don't even try...
MH: Instead of guys trying to talk and dictate when they're talking, they need to know it doesn't make you a punk to listen to a woman. Now you should never let a woman run you. I don't like those type of relationships either. There is a respect factor women should have. I'm old fashioned and I grew up seeing my mother respect my father. I don't appreciate a woman who is disrespectful to their man. I feel a man has a place, and a woman has a place.

Is a woman being 'submissive,' a misogynistic and/or outdated approach to relationships in 2010, though?
MH: A lot of women today feel they have to act like men, and I always make the example that if we're asleep and you hear a noise, a woman isn't going to get up she's going to tell her man to go see what it is. Men and woman have their place in a relationship, and what men tend to do wrong is abuse their authority, which is why you have domestic violence and the such. You have to be careful.

You're preaching this listening thing, so do we already have the content for the next album?

MH: (Laughs) Like I said most [things] can be avoided if you ask a woman what she likes, and just listen to what your woman is saying and expressing to you.

Follow writer Shirea L. Carroll on Twitter @InviteOnly

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