Luv Coach Q&A: Long-Distance Lover!

I met someone who lives in Florida who is single. We exchange pictures, talk and text. He said that when he saw my picture I was the type of woman that was missing in his life. He has a good job and is a church goer. I'm not sure whether or not I should give this a try. Is a long distance relationship a good thing? He is on the Tagged website and has plenty of women friends from everywhere. I asked him about some of their comments to him and whether he tells them the same things he tells me. My picture is not on the Tagged Website. I am a little confused but my heart is telling me to give it a try.
Pia

Long distance relationships can be great if you are willing to do the work and have created a strong, loving, trusting foundation. Many people do it successfully, while others can't get over the stress and loneliness of distance and choose to find some one closer to home. The question you want to ask yourself though, is whether or not this man is being sincere about his feelings. If you are already feeling confused then you must be receiving mixed messages. His words are telling you one thing; that you are the type of woman that is missing in his life. While his actions are telling you another; that he communicates with many other women on Tagged and their comments make you think he has been using the same lines on them. Your heart may be telling you to try it because you are coming from a place of neediness and you want this to be the real deal. Who doesn't want love? But you must balance your heart with your head when choosing a love. Due to the long distance you are unable to test whether what he says is in line with what he actually does. A relationship should be built on trust, not confusion and you don't want to start something only to find out its foundation is crumbling.

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I have known my man for five years now. In the beginning we hit it off and were seeing each other for a few months. Then we lost touch for about three years. About a year ago he called me out of the blue and we started seeing each other again. Right now we just have one of those "friends with benefits" type of relationships, but I'm starting to get emotionally attached. I tell the guy "I love you", he tells me he doesn't want to hear that, and that he doesn't believe in the word. He lives with a woman, which he says is out of convenience because he has no other place to go. He also talks about his kids' mother all the time like he misses her or maybe it's the woman he is living with. I'm not sure because he lives out of town from me. He tells me he doesn't want me seeing other men. I told him through a text message that I'm starting to get feelings for him and I got this back in return, "Bitch f**k you and your feelings!" After all that's happened, should I just move on or bare with this guy?
Retta

Do you really have to ask? Move on, and make it quick! He doesn't believe in love and you do, so right there you two aren't looking for the same thing in a relationship. This guy is using you for sex and you are allowing it to happen. At what point in your life did you decide it's acceptable for someone to sh*t on your feelings? Why would you choose to give your love and your body to someone who blatantly doesn't care for your well being? People will treat you the way that you allow them to treat you. He is not going to change, so don't waste your time with someone who treats you like garbage. Dump him, then get yourself to counseling to figure out why you were willing to let this type of guy into your life, and how you can heal the wounds that have led you to this place in your life.

Rebecca Brody is a relationship coach in NYC. www.TheLuvCoach.com. Send your relationship questions to Brody@TheLuvCoach.com. Follow her at Facebook.com/BACARDILimon