Luv Coach Q&A: Chasing Commitment!

I sometimes feel I have a fear of commitment, but I'm not sure why. Each relationship I embark upon seems to end in the same way and it's quite frustrating. I've changed the places in which I meet guys, and I've changed the kind of guys I've dated. So, I'm not sure why they end with such disappointment.
Shar

It sounds like you may be sending mixed messages. If you believe that you have a fear of commitment then you are sending the message that you want nothing to do with, and are not looking for, a committed relationship. That message attracts people who don't want a commitment. Once you get involved with them and decide you want something more, the relationship ends because you chose someone who wasn't looking for a long-term commitment. You need to figure out why you fear commitment and what happened to you in the past that has led you to this place. You should work with a relationship coach to help explore your fear. They can teach you how to shift your perception so that you embrace commitment and attract people who are also looking for a commitment in love.

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I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and we have discussed marriage and kids. Ever since we got serious he has become very insecure and constantly questions my love for him. We get into really crazy fights about it, and I am getting exhausted having to prove to him that he means more to me than everyone else. I really do love him, but I don't know if I can deal with this much longer. What should I do?
Nan

Your boyfriend has become so needy that he is draining your relationship. His neediness stems from a lack of security, issues with trust, and a fear of losing you. When these three are combined the neediness becomes a bottomless black hole that sucks the life out of everything around it. There are deep rooted issues tied to neediness and your boyfriend will need to address them with a therapist before he can heal. Suggest to him that you both go see a couples therapist, who can help him understand how his neediness is affecting his life and relationship and the best way to address it.

Rebecca Brody is a relationship coach in NYC. www.TheLuvCoach.com. Send your relationship questions to Brody@TheLuvCoach.com. Ready to meet that special person? Come join Coach Brody for an evening of Improv Speed Dating- www.Improvdates.com