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I've been dating this man for almost a year and we have a big age gap, I'm 22 and he is 35. He just told me he is seeing someone else as well as me and I just want to know if I should move on or not because I really fell in love with him!
Nettie
It's extremely painful when your partner callously disrespects your love and dishonors the relationship. It is essential at the start of a relationship to state your requirements (e.g. fidelity) so that both partners know the boundaries and the ramifications of breaking those requirements. He has chosen not to value you or your relationship, so if you choose to stay with him, then you are telling the world that you don't value yourself. It's time to walk away from this man, and I know it's not easy. I know that you love him very much, but if you allow others to mistreat you, you will lose sight of who you are and end up in an unhealthy situation. Drop this guy so you can make room in your life for other relationships and eventually your one great love. Don't settle for someone who doesn't think you're worth being his one and only.
Nettie
It's extremely painful when your partner callously disrespects your love and dishonors the relationship. It is essential at the start of a relationship to state your requirements (e.g. fidelity) so that both partners know the boundaries and the ramifications of breaking those requirements. He has chosen not to value you or your relationship, so if you choose to stay with him, then you are telling the world that you don't value yourself. It's time to walk away from this man, and I know it's not easy. I know that you love him very much, but if you allow others to mistreat you, you will lose sight of who you are and end up in an unhealthy situation. Drop this guy so you can make room in your life for other relationships and eventually your one great love. Don't settle for someone who doesn't think you're worth being his one and only.
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I have been married for ten years and we have one son together and he has a set of twins from a previous relationship. In the past I confronted him about sleeping with a childhood associate, and recently -- four months ago -- I found out about a three year affair with a younger lady. I have spoken with the lady and it was not pleasant. I am still in the marriage, and he claims he didn't marry me to get a divorce, but I feel he is still having an affair with the younger woman. I am so hurt, confused, disgusted, and I can't get it off my mind. HELP!!!
Vikki
Your husband claims that he didn't marry you to get a divorce, and yet he is doing everything to lead to that inevitable demise. It's not enough to say your marriage vows, you have to live and honor them. You have been too easy on him and let him get away with treating you poorly. After the first transgression, you both should have sought couples counseling to address the issues in your marriage. Since there were no consequences the first time, your husband feels that he can do it again and get away with it. Trust your intuition if it's telling you that he is still cheating, and ask yourself what kind of marriage you want to be in and what type of example you are setting for your son. Your husband isn't going to change if there aren't any repercussions for his behavior. You won't be able to get it off your mind until you have done something to change the course of your marriage. Once again, you will have to confront him, and this time you will have to take action.
Rebecca Brody is a relationship coach in New York City. For free relationship advice contact Brody@TheLuvCoach.com or go to www.TheLuvCoach.com. Ready to meet that special person? Come join Coach Brody for an evening of Improv Speed Dating- Improvdates.com
Comments: (4)
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By: Tiny on 8/31/2010 11:41PM
I'm 25 and my man is 37, we been together about two years now and we have drama just a lil bit between his drinking and his baby mama. What you think I should do?
Tiny
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By: curtis alderman on 9/06/2010 9:06AM
What the matter darked skinned guys not good enough for you don't try it. there are some good black guys out there you just havn't met them yet
i'm one because i'm waitint for the right black girl to come along if i have to go without sex until then so be it oh by the way i'm black and i think black women are better in bed than white women. i know because the first woman i ever went to bed with was white i will date any other race on the planet any color such as brown,red,yellow but no white because they have been taking advantage of the black women during slavery now they are using black women as test subjects to satified their curious mind to to see what it would be like to go to bed with a black woman runing from woman to woman because their own race have made them feel inferior so they go with someone they think are inferior and black men do the same thing by going with white women because they have been misled somewhere down the line.i do not look up at anyone and i don't look down at anyone.even the predident because he put pant on the same way i do one leg at a time. I don't think i'm better than anyone and i don't think anyone is better than me.so choose your friend wisely because everything shines is not gold,every closed eyes is not sleep,and every goodby ain't gone you'll have to know the different between love and lust in other words don't be a slut i'm not color struck i just love myself some black women they just turn me on don't get me wrong white women are ok as friends but not as lovers
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By: Christabelle on 9/17/2010 11:51AM
so there is this guy and im madly in love with him. he tells me he doesnt want a girl right now. but we have been "talking" for over a year. he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me but he doesnt want to see me with other men. im confused. any help?
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By: silwyn5 on 6/21/2011 3:55PM
You've got feelings, he doesn't want to get involved except to tell you not to see someone else; now you're confused? About what??? You seem to like your feelings more than common sense. Do what you want to do. I've seen how this turns out.
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