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She and her fiancé, entrepreneur Keith Britton, have been dating for 10 years. They recently announced their engagement, with Saldana admitting he isn't what she typically looks for.
"He was a model, and now he's a finance guy. It's funny, I never had a thing for these Abercrombie and Fitch boys -- never," Saldana told GQ. "They were just too, y'know... big necks and everything. But then here's this all-American guy: hunter, beer drinker, all that bulls**t. And in 10 years, we haven't been able to get rid of each other."
Take note. Sometimes looking for love and finding it can sometimes mean opening your mind beyond what you usually like. After all, doing (or liking) the same things and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. Maybe love isn't going to come to you in 6-foot-3, 200 pound tall, dark Idris Elba package. The truth is a lot of the requirements we put on who our type should be and look distract us from seeing the things our so-called "types" lack.
Types are overrated, anyway. When most describe their type or preference, much of the adjectives on the list are things that don't, or at least shouldn't, matter in the long run. Whether a woman's hair is long or short, for instance, isn't as important as whether she has long-term and short-term goals for her life. Instead of focusing on a type and shooting people down because they don't fit the mold, we should be more willing to give love that is rooted in good intentions and genuineness a chance.
As Saldana knows, sometimes love doesn't always come from the place we envision or expect it. Open your mind and analyze your type requirements for what they are. This isn't to say that attraction doesn't matter; just watch how much weight you put on things that can easily fade. Try focusing on defining your type to fit the lessons you've learned from past relationships. How about having a type who knows the difference between love and respect, the type who shares the same morals, the type whose extroversion balances your introversion. Edit and simplify who and what your type is, and let love come in whatever shape, size, geographical location, occupation or race.
Beautiful Black Love
(L-R) Christine Teigen and John Legend at The Shrine Auditorium on June 27, 2010 in Los Angeles, California.
(L-R) LaLa Vasquez and Carmelo Anthony at The Shrine Auditorium on June 27, 2010 in Los Angeles, California.
Lamar Odom #7 of the Los Angeles Lakers and Khloe Kardashian celebrate during the Los Angeles Lakers Championship Parade on June 21, 2010 in Los Angeles, California.
Beyonce and Jay-Z in the audience at the 64th Annual Tony Awards at Radio City Music Hall on June 13, 2010 in New York City.
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith in the audience at the 64th Annual Tony Awards at Radio City Music Hall on June 13, 2010 in New York City.
Producers Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith arrive at "The Karate Kid" Los Angeles Premiere at Mann Village Theatre on June 7, 2010 in Westwood, California.
Singers Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles are seen at the French Open on June 6, 2010 in Paris, France.
Actor Terry Crews and wife Rebecca Crews arrive at Spike TV's 4th Annual "Guys Choice Awards" held at Sony Studios on June 5, 2010 in Los Angeles, California.
John Legend and Christine Teigen pose with Elmo during Sesame Workshop's 8th Annual Benefit Gala at Cipriani 42nd Street on June 2, 2010 in New York City.
Actress Nicole Ari Parker (L) and husband actor Boris Kodjoe attend the "35 And Ticking" Film Wrap Party on May 28, 2010 in Woodland Hills, California.
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By: Afordlove on 7/20/2010 11:10PM
She is nothing but a White Mans Slave.....Once he is finish with her and then he with breed her... He will take the children and move back into his White World and she will be left with nothing on the will.....
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By: Marvice on 7/20/2010 11:20PM
Excuse me, but the majority of society doesn't get their type. Everyone may dream of the movie star or celebrity love, but few of us actually get that. Color is just whats on the outside, to be able to be with someone you have to find what you have in common or similarities that make you want to spend time with that person or be around that person. I think because a lot of the music has crossed over, you have more white, asian, hispanics etc... listening to music that typically was mostly listened to by blacks. I think people are finding themselves more among mixed company than in the past, and that is why we are seeing more interracial couples. If you meet someone that is another color and you actually connect then good, but it you want to stay within your race that's fine as well.
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By: The Cynic on 7/21/2010 1:33AM
People can date whomever they like, but why are you SHOVING Interracial relationships down our throats? It seriously feels as if the media wants us to go out. Subliminally breeding. I'm a black man and all of this media is making me feel like I am wrong, or weird for preferring black women. Just let people make their own decisions. People don't need YOU telling them they have to date out. If it is something they want they will do it on their own.
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By: Lisa on 7/23/2010 11:44AM
Charles
Dont be ignorant. I did not say all the black men I know were doing anything. I said that the white man is NO LONGER THE ONE COMMITTING THE MAJORITY OF THOSE ACTS AGAINST BLACK WOMEN! Opportunity and proximity are part of the reason, but nonetheless! At 48 I am only amused by your cowardly and thinly veiled attempt to discredit what I say. My point may hurt your widdle feewings, but remains the same. Using the old "dating the rapist" line is no longer valid. BTW, I have dated white men, but my man is black, and the father of my now grown son is black.
However, so is my grandaughter and I do not intend for her to let that old bs control who she sees or in any way limit what she feels she can do to find her happiness. Such cowardice!
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By: Vickiss on 7/23/2010 12:45PM
That's just simply not true. Who is responsible for locking up the sons , fathers, and husbands of black women every day unjustly ? Who does a black woman have to go to for a job? Who shot Aiyana Jones? Who vilifies her in the media every day?
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By: Lisa on 7/23/2010 3:25PM
I am talking about using an obsolete excuse to control the movements of others.
If unjustly incarcerating black males makes one the rapist, THEN THE WHITE WOMAN IS THE RAPIST TOO(not the prize). She has never been innocent in this. The same rules need to be applied. They are not. We can all list examples to prop up our opinions. What black man here in Ohio robbed raped beat and murdered an 83 year old woman? I dont even need to be that local. How about our enlightened brothers in Africa using rape as a weapon against each other, or raping their virgin daughters ( some as young as five or six)because " it cures AIDS". Really?
Believe what it is you need to believe. I will do the same.
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