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BlackVoices History Quest: Charleston
She and her fiancé, entrepreneur Keith Britton, have been dating for 10 years. They recently announced their engagement, with Saldana admitting he isn't what she typically looks for.
"He was a model, and now he's a finance guy. It's funny, I never had a thing for these Abercrombie and Fitch boys -- never," Saldana told GQ. "They were just too, y'know... big necks and everything. But then here's this all-American guy: hunter, beer drinker, all that bulls**t. And in 10 years, we haven't been able to get rid of each other."
Take note. Sometimes looking for love and finding it can sometimes mean opening your mind beyond what you usually like. After all, doing (or liking) the same things and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. Maybe love isn't going to come to you in 6-foot-3, 200 pound tall, dark Idris Elba package. The truth is a lot of the requirements we put on who our type should be and look distract us from seeing the things our so-called "types" lack.
Types are overrated, anyway. When most describe their type or preference, much of the adjectives on the list are things that don't, or at least shouldn't, matter in the long run. Whether a woman's hair is long or short, for instance, isn't as important as whether she has long-term and short-term goals for her life. Instead of focusing on a type and shooting people down because they don't fit the mold, we should be more willing to give love that is rooted in good intentions and genuineness a chance.
As Saldana knows, sometimes love doesn't always come from the place we envision or expect it. Open your mind and analyze your type requirements for what they are. This isn't to say that attraction doesn't matter; just watch how much weight you put on things that can easily fade. Try focusing on defining your type to fit the lessons you've learned from past relationships. How about having a type who knows the difference between love and respect, the type who shares the same morals, the type whose extroversion balances your introversion. Edit and simplify who and what your type is, and let love come in whatever shape, size, geographical location, occupation or race.
Beautiful Black Love
(L-R) Christine Teigen and John Legend at The Shrine Auditorium on June 27, 2010 in Los Angeles, California.
(L-R) LaLa Vasquez and Carmelo Anthony at The Shrine Auditorium on June 27, 2010 in Los Angeles, California.
Lamar Odom #7 of the Los Angeles Lakers and Khloe Kardashian celebrate during the Los Angeles Lakers Championship Parade on June 21, 2010 in Los Angeles, California.
Beyonce and Jay-Z in the audience at the 64th Annual Tony Awards at Radio City Music Hall on June 13, 2010 in New York City.
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith in the audience at the 64th Annual Tony Awards at Radio City Music Hall on June 13, 2010 in New York City.
Producers Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith arrive at "The Karate Kid" Los Angeles Premiere at Mann Village Theatre on June 7, 2010 in Westwood, California.
Singers Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles are seen at the French Open on June 6, 2010 in Paris, France.
Actor Terry Crews and wife Rebecca Crews arrive at Spike TV's 4th Annual "Guys Choice Awards" held at Sony Studios on June 5, 2010 in Los Angeles, California.
John Legend and Christine Teigen pose with Elmo during Sesame Workshop's 8th Annual Benefit Gala at Cipriani 42nd Street on June 2, 2010 in New York City.
Actress Nicole Ari Parker (L) and husband actor Boris Kodjoe attend the "35 And Ticking" Film Wrap Party on May 28, 2010 in Woodland Hills, California.
Comments: (30)
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By: alie on 7/20/2010 3:55AM
Lets celebrate love, remember moses married an ethopian (black woman) and people some of the people were angry with him because of that!
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By: elenazl on 7/21/2010 5:46AM
Meet single, black and white men O N "" B l a c k W h i t e K i s s i n g . C ○ M"" that is the top one club for mixed love..
Meet single, black and white men O N "" B l a c k W h i t e K i s s i n g . C ○ M"" that is the top one club for mixed love..
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By: charles on 7/22/2010 3:48AM
Moses was Black also , he wasnt greek and he wasnt roman who else was around/
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By: Frank Talk on 7/20/2010 10:02AM
That's right Blackfemales. Branch out. date white guys. Their relatives from the recent past raped and killed your grandparents and parents.
White lust has always made them hate you, now they want to "bone" you. Look at all the TV shows, cable shows and movies. You'll see a white male kissing a Blackfemale 99% of the time before you see a handsome B/male kissing a famous and popular white/Jewish female.
Look at porno nowadays. "Ghetto Gaggers" to be exact. Look at how the Jewish directors and producers constantly are boning and abusing young, B/girls, while hiding their faces from the camera like the KKK days; all they need are their relatives' hoods.
This goes to show what I always profess. White males prefer women Of Color over their own; and even though B/males are structurally deprived and systematically arrested, this is one of the key reasons. They want us "gay" and out of the way to acquire our females. Read: The East The West & Sex, by Richard ("Dick") Bernstein. Chapter II reads, "The Whole World as the White Man's Brothel."
In other words. If you date and marry him, you're his
'whore, field slut, n___er wench, queAn, B/b__ch, harlot, slave-girl, concubine, etc..." AOL is really selling this neo Black whoredom, fourfold.
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By: debbieq on 7/20/2010 6:44PM
I thought I was the only one thinking like that. I agree with your post totally.
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By: flowerchild on 7/21/2010 11:57AM
Oh please Frankie...maybe if black men were more appreciative of black women, then we won't have to go look elsewhere. You say nothing about black men dating white women. HUH! Most black men have gotten so beside themselves as though we think they are are last choice on this earth. If a black man goes to jail, then he should have made another choice, instead of a one that will land him in prison. Plus, white men are more passionate, more attentive, and appreciate the black woman. Well, the ones I know. So please, get off this slave crap. This is the mess they made us black women so loyal to the black man even though he treated us like crap. Not bittered. I had to open my eyes and mind.
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By: charles on 7/22/2010 3:48AM
you got it right , the black female is used to say sex is available for cheap. 9 years ago a friend pointed this out to me and the trend has gotten worse. saturday TV has Keke Palmaer hanging with a bunch of white males what messsage does this send to other girls.
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By: jacksbsneaker02 on 7/20/2010 10:02AM
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nd a few extra pounds instead. Deal with it -- the truth is a lot of the requirements we put on who our type should be and look distract us from seeing the things our so-called "ty
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By: Lisa on 7/20/2010 10:40AM
Frank Talk
Just forget it . The white man isnt the one raping beating and mistreating us. He doesnt need to . Yall have that covered. That is, the ones of you who arent chasing their women, not realizing that you fall into the same "chocolate fantasy". And as far as porn goes, please! Theres enough black man white women porn our there to stun an ox. They laugh behind their hands because you reduce yourselves to penises with a life support system.
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By: Uriah Jordan on 7/20/2010 12:12PM
I can understand where Frank Talk is coming from. While brothers have been guilty of a lot of this things you listed you can not say that in the white community that their women are unfamiliar to domestic violence and other abuses directed towards women and children. I would say that white men just enjoy a better public relations department than brothers have. For every movie that has the elements that the Color Purple and Precious has concerning white men there are a thousand that paints them as the 'white knight'. The Frong Princess was just an example of the PR department working its mojo white male replaces black male as protagonist yet the antagonist remains a brother. Disney or any other studio will place the story of York's life on film, becuase it wil show the love between a black man and a black woman in the midst of the most horrible conditions humans had to endure. York was the slave owned by Lewis and Clark. He received nothing for his part in their trek across the country and was denied being united with his wife and was ultimately given to a notoriously mean slave owner because of his persistence to be with her.
In short if Zoe what's her name found love good for her, but that by no means, means that love can only be found in the arms of the 'white knights'.
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