
Incomplete people create incomplete relationships. There needs to be a sense of oneness with yourself before you begin looking for love. If you don't have that, you end up believing happiness and contentment are gained through a relationship. This leads to disappointment -- nobody is perfect, including your mate.
We are born single, not coupled up, and it makes sense to get used to a solo status first before you learn how to care for another. I often hear men and women say they will get married when they find someone who makes them happy, but that's asking way to much. Learning to love yourself and make yourself happy will always be less draining than depending on someone else to provide that love and attention for you. When you already function as happy person, and you're looking for a happy partner, there is a much better chance in building a love rooted in joy.
Get off the you-complete-me train, and see that self-contentment is the start of finding true, long-lasting love. Begin with some introspection. Look inside and learn to accept the things you hate about yourself and decide whether it would be to your benefit to change. Next, learn how to be self-sufficient. You should have no problems doing things on your own. Want to watch that movie this weekend? Go away on trip this summer? As an adult, you should not only be able not only do it solo, but enjoy it. Lastly, always be on a mission for self-improvement. It allows you to want and expect the best in a partner. Feeling like you need another person to complete you will only leave you more empty than when you started.


Comments: (19)
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By: Citrus on 7/05/2010 11:19PM
Good article!
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By: Blair on 7/01/2010 11:53AM
I agree with this article completely. Just last night I was writing in my diary about myself and my past relationship in what went wrong. I evaluated myself and wrote a list of characteristics that exude my personality and a list of what I want. I learned that I need to be happy with myself before I get into a relationship and I do not need someone to bring happiness that I can accomplish myself.
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By: stay positive on 7/01/2010 3:09PM
i never looked @ it that way.. nicely written..
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By: Denise Dunn on 7/02/2010 7:45AM
Excellent article, major common sense!!
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By: Nae-Nae on 7/02/2010 8:43AM
Just a ?...shouldn't it read "Two halves don't always make a whole" instead of haves? Misprint maybe? Just wondering...do/don't they have proof readers for their articles?
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By: LOLA on 7/02/2010 9:50AM
I don't agree with this ideology.God created man and woman. The above ideology is a true view of whats wrong with the state of the black community. We as when are so quick to be independent. Maybe thats why many are single. Ps:Before you get into a relationship you should have already did some personal soul searching.
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By: Nicole McBride on 7/02/2010 1:02PM
This article is so true. I understand when you talk about the Bible and God creating Adam and Eve. However, if you remember correctly, when Adam decided not to think for himself and allowed Eve to think for him that is where all the problems started. Therefore, man and woman need to be able to think for themselves not depending on the other for their sole survival. That is why the article is correct when it says we should have "self-contentment" and be "self-sufficient" because in the long run it will make for a balanced relationship. By having these qualities as in individual not just as a whole, it will allow either the man or the woman to be there for one another when he/she gets down emotionally or economically. The other spouse will be able to be there for them not breaking down because they are depending upon the other one for strength.
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By: Suki on 7/03/2010 2:17AM
Lola I don't believe the article is promoting independence but rather being whole and not expecting another human being to complete you or bring you happiness. First off happiness is an emotion that goes and come based on life events such as a promotion, gift or accomplishment. Joy is far better as you can be sad yet still have that foundational joy which only comes from Christ.
The article is simply saying that one should find out who they are, what makes them happy as an individual so that you don't expect it from another person or allow them to define who you are.
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By: coralex28 on 7/02/2010 12:21PM
I agree with u LOLA..Well stated..
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By: CeCe on 7/02/2010 12:58PM
Yeah, I'm with Lola too. I believe you should have a good sense of who you are before you get married, but if you find the "one" then you get to know yourself even more. I'm learning more of who I am with my husband. There were things about me that I considered weaknesses, until I met him. Now I know that some things just aren't me, but it's okay, because he is strong in the areas I'm not; and vice versa. He has certain characteristics that I do NOT; the main one being patience. There are positives and negatives to both of our personalities, and we know that we are stronger with each other than without each other. When you are married, you should try to work on yourself to make a stronger union, not just a stronger YOU. When people work as TWO individuals as opposed to a unit, then you are in danger of failure. That's when you hear, "We just grew apart..."
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