I'm a married man, five years removed from the single life. I'm...wait...line please! Ah yes, I'm happy. Life is different and mostly for the better. The time I used to spend chasing women, I now spend chasing my goals. Every now and then, however, I wonder what my life would be like if I were single. I've concluded that I'd probably still be a serial pseudo-monogamist during the winter and a full blown seasonal single during the warmer months. I know the drill. I was good at it. But along the way, throughout my 20's and early 30's, there were a few girlfriends that I made an earnest attempt to do right by. A few of them I even considered marrying, but there was always something standing in the way of long term bliss.

If you'll indulge me, I thought I might pull back the curtain on a few of those relationships. Names have been changed; the facts (according to me) haven't.
Monica was very much into Monica, but we were young. I can't blame her. We met during our sophomore years in college. At the time, my son was a couple years old. The fact that I had a child was an issue for her, but one she never spoke of. However, it became more and more evident over time that she just wasn't' into the idea of bonding with my son, no matter how serious our relationship was. She eventually went off to grad school. I would nonetheless visit her on a regular basis because I thought I was in love and, quite frankly, her body was preposterous. That lasted for her first year of grad school. Then reality took hold. I was father. And either I needed to stay a single father or find a woman who would embrace my son like he was her own. That wasn't her. The fact that I was possessive and unjustifiably jealous didn't help matters. Catching a flight to Baltimore one afternoon out of the blue to try to catch her cheating didn't exactly enamor her. Maybe it would have helped my case if I actually caught her. Anyway, I have no idea what she's up to nowadays. I'm sure she's doing well professionally.

Kerry had a toxic temperament. And I'm sure she still does. She is profoundly bright yet disturbingly disagreeable. We knew each other since we were 12-years-old. Our mothers at one point were best friends. Then Karla and her family moved back east. We lost touch. In our late 20's, we reconnected. Though we just been friends in our youth, we quickly fell for each other as young adults. I thought she was the one. Then something happened. I woke up one day and she had fired her representative. The real Kerry emerged and she was meaner than 100 black women snubbed by 100 black men for 100 white women. Within weeks, I called off the premature engagement. I haven't seen her or talked to her since. As I write this, she probably has her foot on some man's face daring him "to say that sh*t again!" I wish both of them the best of luck.

Angie's mom to this day says that I should have been her son-in-law. I know this because I recently ran into Angie's mom and she told me so. I'm flattered. The problem is her daughter and I couldn't co-exist for more than 3 days without spewing verbal venom. Angie, unlike Kerry, however, wasn't mean. She was a sweetheart by nature. But she was strong-willed. Okay, let me stop dancing around the edges. Angie and I didn't share the same religious views. I was willing to look past it, but not her. She was on a crusade. I just so happened to prefer the sweet nectar of imported beer to her dogmatic ecclesiastic Kool-Aid. Pushing that mountain aside, we were perfect for each other. Angie and I have stayed in touch over the years. She's getting married this summer and I'm ecstatic for her. She deserves the happiness that she's found.

Mya was crazy. We were friends more than anything else. We just happened to have a great sex life on the side. At some point, however, I think she may have wanted more from me than I was willing to give at the time. Then one day, it dawned on me. She and I needed to be together. She was the Tina Marie to my Rick James. I was ready to take the next step and enter in to a real relationship or something like that. But, literally, days after I made this known to her, she met another guy who told her everything she ever wanted to hear. Simultaneously, he swept her off her feet and pulled the rug from underneath mine. I showed up too late. You live and learn. Things didn't work out with her and smooth operator, but she's one of the happiest people I know. She'll always be a friend and I wish her the best.

Mrs. Jamal is curious to read this column. After I bounced the idea off of her, she actually encouraged me to go with it. That's why she's Mrs. Jamal and not an ex-girlfriend.




Mason Jamal lives, observes and comments. He writes about issues pertaining to the style, substance and sensibilities of men, women and relationships. For more of his musings, you can visit www.MasonSays.com. To have his commentary delivered to your e-mail, subscribe here. Keep up with Mason's daily thoughts and observations on Facebook and Twitter @masonsays.