Boundaries in the Bedroom

Let's talk about sex! It can be exciting, wild, intimate, soul crushing, wonderful, silly, lousy, poor... the list goes on. We all do it. Some of us love it, and some of us don't. Most people orgasm, while some never do. A few are known for their sexual prowess and skills in the bedroom, while others have been tagged ill equipped. Whatever the experience, the power in the act and the level of enjoyment depends upon the people involved and their level of comfort with each other.

Setting boundaries is a great way to try new sexual exploits and the only way to set boundaries is through communicating what you like and what you want during sex. If you choose to be non-verbal during sex you leave your partner fumbling in the dark, trying to find the light switch that will turn you on. Sex becomes a chore in which one person works to find that mysterious orgasmic button, when it should be a journey through pleasure.

The first step in setting boundaries is to know what you like and how you like it. If you have ever pleasured yourself, then you are aware of the best way to experience sexual satisfaction. Fast, slow, hard, soft, deep, grind...sharing this information with your partner will help them immensely, and will only serve to bring you to a climactic sexual end. If you are sitting at the dinner table and you want the salt, you have to ask for it. The same goes for your desires in bed. So don't be shy, speak up and ask for it!

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The next step is to share sexual fantasies. Whether you like to be spanked, bitten, tied up or have your hair pulled, it's about opening up and sharing what turns you on. Maybe you fantasize about having sex in public places, doing it up against a door, or listening to dirty talk. Whether you prefer a bed, a couch, a table, or the washing machine, sharing your sexual fantasies is key to setting boundaries. The beauty of a fantasy is that you get to decide if you want to make it a reality. Once you have established fantasies you can decide which of them you would both be comfortable experimenting with.

Create a safe word so that either partner can tag out if they decide he or she is not ready to try something new. It's your fantasy, so if you decide that it doesn't turn you on once it becomes real, then toss out your safe word and pick something else to try. Setting boundaries creates a safe environment for everyone to explore new levels of sexual satisfaction without fear, so grab your partner, shed your inhibitions and get busy!

Rebecca Brody is a Relationship Coach in New York City. She is the creator of She Caught the Crazy! If you need relationship advice or want to work with Coach Brody contact Brody@TheLuvCoach.com or go to www.TheLuvCoach.com. For more crazy stories visit www.SheCaughtTheCrazy.com