I was flipping through 'The Red Flag Rule Book' by Cheryl Anne Meyer and Tara Landon, and I couldn't help but laugh at the memories that began flooding my mind of the many flavored dates I experienced in my quest for true love. I was a big proponent of saying yes to anyone who asked me on a date, because I knew that love could show up in the most unlikely of places, and I was willing to get to know as many people as possible before deciding on the "one".

One such date happened spontaneously. I was browsing the magazine racks at Barnes & Noble when a gentleman approached me rather nervously. He was just a tad taller than me, with light brown skin, dark curly hair, and brown eyes with flecks of gold in them. He was dressed like a student, and his back pack, which was slung over his shoulder, was weighed down with books. His voice quivered as he gently spoke.

"Excuse me. I couldn't help but notice how beautiful you are, and I was wondering if I could buy you a cup of coffee?" I wouldn't normally give the time of day to a man who obviously lacked confidence, and, in the past, might have shot him down and watched him scurry away. But something in me felt that this little lamb would be scarred for life if I shooed him off. Even though I knew he wasn't right for me, I didn't want to emotionally damage him for the next woman he got involved with. He had worked up the guts to ask me to coffee, and I thought, what's the harm in a cup if I can help build his confidence? So I said "Sure" and off to the cafe we went.

As we stood in line waiting to give our order, I smiled pleasantly and tried to make eye contact, but he just looked down at his shoes. This was not going well, and I was beginning to panic wondering what we would even talk about, considering he wasn't able to look me directly in the face. I figured I would just order a small coffee and chug it if this mini date proved to be a bad idea. As we reached the counter, I ordered a latte and when I turned to see what he wanted, he was uncomfortably digging coins out of his pockets. He fidgeted nervously as he counted the change. "Ummm...I have..um..only..uh..." he trailed into silence. Realizing this guy didn't have two quarters to rub together, I paid for it myself. Once it was delivered, I turned to him, smiled warmly and said, "I have to go." Walking out of the bookstore, I was embarrassed for him and angry. Why would you invite someone for a cup of coffee if you can't afford to buy one? He seemed genuinely surprised at the price of a latte, as if he had just stepped out of an era when a cup of joe only costs 10 cents. I was shocked and left wondering why he behaved like he had never spoken to a woman before. As I was browsing through the red flags, it hit me. This guy was completely clueless about women. So I gave him a red flag and made my exit.

Red Flag #24: Clueless (about women)
The Clueless guy will be easy to spot. He will act like he has never met another woman in his life before you, and he will seem like he pieced together his perceptions of women from information he found in commercial and magazine ads. Most likely this guy grew up in a household of three brothers, went to an all-boys high school, and then graduated with a C for Clueless about women. If you feel like your guy doesn't know a thing about basic girl stuff such as, that you may need more than 15 minutes to get ready in the morning, that your favorite thing to do may not necessarily be cooking, and that you most likely would be appalled by his room full of hunting trophy heads, then he has a lot to learn and deserves a Red Flag.

Have you ever dated a guy who was completely clueless about women?



Rebecca Brody is a Relationship Coach in New York City. She is the creator of She Caught the Crazy! If you need relationship advice or want to work with Coach Brody contact Brody@TheLuvCoach.com or go to www.TheLuvCoach.com. For more crazy stories visit www.SheCaughtTheCrazy.com