Things to Consider Before Walking Down the Aisle

Wedding season is gearing up and the excitement of a fresh, new marital adventure is tempered by a host of pre-wedding issues. I have had the pleasure of coaching several newly engaged couples who came to seek advice on the best way to be prepared before they walk down the aisle. They realized that the success and failure of their relationship depended upon how well they dealt with the major issues. As we went through the list of pertinent questions, I wanted to share them with you. So to help you get a jump start on paving a healthy path to marriage, here are the questions you need to address before walking down the aisle:

Why are we getting married?
You want to be clear as to why you are choosing to get married. If you find that your reasons are pregnancy, financial security, loneliness or wanting to get out of your parents house, then you need to step back and reassess your choices, because these are not valid reasons to get married.

Kids
If you and your partner cannot agree on whether to have children, then you are setting your marriage up for failure. You must be on the same page as to whether you want them and work out how you want to raise them.
Do you want to have kids? How many?
How long should we be married before having children?
What kind of parent will we be?
How do you feel about adoption?
What is our parenting philosophy?
Will one of us stay home after we have children, or will we have a nanny?

Money
Handling your finances as a couple is part of developing a healthy foundation for marriage.
Are you a saver or spender when it comes to money?
Should we have a budget?
Should we have a joint checking account or separate accounts or both?
Who is responsible for making sure that bills are paid on time?
How much should we save for vacations?
How much do we owe in debts and what are our assets?
Where does our money go?
What are our financial goals?

Expectations
Creating mutual goals and vocalizing expectations will help you stay on the same page through out your marriage.
What expectations do we have for the future?
Where do we see each other in 5/10/20 years?

Quality Time
Keeping the flame burning will keep the connection between you strong and loving.
What is considered quality couple time?
How much quality time should we plan each week?

Sexuality
Mutual satisfaction will ensure that you both experience sexual value in the relationship.
Can we talk about sex?
Are you comfortable discussing your sexual likes and dislikes?
What are your expectations of our sexual relationship?

Conflict
Setting the ground rules for how you deal with conflict will ensure a smoother ride.
How will we make decisions together?
Are we both willing to face conflict?
Are there issues in our relationship that need to be addressed before our wedding?
How are we different?
How will our differences affect our marriage?

In-Laws
Setting boundaries that are comfortable for both partners will allow you to enjoy family.
How often will we see our in-laws?
How comfortable are we around each others family?
Are there any family issues that need to be addressed?

Chores
Maintaing balance in the home will create harmony in the relationship.
How should we divide up the household chores?
Can we afford a housekeeper?

Spirituality: It's important to respect and support each others spirituality.
How important is spirituality?
What role will religion play in our lives?
Do we have to have the same faith?
What religion should we impart upon our children?

It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of planning a wedding, but you need make sure you are prepared for what is to come after the vows have been taken. Addressing these key questions will help you and your love create a strong foundation so that your marriage lasts a lifetime.

Rebecca Brody is a Relationship Coach in New York City. She is the creator of She Caught the Crazy! If you need relationship advice or want to work with Coach Brody contact Brody@TheLuvCoach.com or go to www.TheLuvCoach.com. For more crazy stories visit www.SheCaughtTheCrazy.com