Luv Coach Q&A: Disrespectful Behavior

I started seeing this guy in October 2009, he was very attentive, always calling, always wanting to see me. By December, I noticed less calls, no dating, no inquiries as to when we would get together, in January I received an email that he needed some space. Two weeks after the email he calls and wants to chat me up. I haven't returned his call. I was very hurt receiving that email, and I wanted to know why he didn't have the balls to tell me face to face. We got along great, and had meaningful conversations. So, how did we end up apart? I didn't push marriage, and I am not the type to jump into bed with a man just because. I do respect myself and my body. Was he pretending? There was no need. We started out as cordial adults, getting to know one another, and I was really hurt by the rude display of disrespect. I have no children, and have never been married. He has one adult son and one teenage son, has been married twice,and divorced for 8 years now. Am I wrong to feel totally disrespected by this CHUMP? I don't like calling names, but I must admit, I miss him. Am I just as sick as he is?

Lillian

You are not missing him, you are missing someone to fill the void in your life. It feels good to connect with another person, and when that connection is severed, you feel the loss. This is normal. You don't need to assess what you did wrong, because the issue lays with him, not you. You can see from his track record and his choices with you that when it comes to relationships, he does not have it figured out yet. It is okay to feel angry and hurt for now, but don't waste your time pining for a man who does not know what he wants and is unable to respect you. Stop blaming yourself, and stop trying to analyze what you did wrong. Just move on.

Help! My man and I are not talking. I don't know whether we are broken up or not. He's upset because I confronted a woman in our building about texting lustful, pornographic sexual picture text messages. He practically broke up with me over it. He yelled, he screamed and I noticed when she came around the other day at our mutual friends house, they were acting different. They kept glancing at each other were engrossed in a deep conversation in front of me. This texting has been going on for a few weeks now. Does this seem like something to be concerned over or is it innocent? He blew up at me, practically chewed my head off and, although we ended the night calmly, he didn't call me as usual the next day and since Wednesday night. He says that I started a big mess in the building. Did I?

Marina

No, you did not start a big mess in the building. He started a big mess in your relationship when he decided to text pictures of a sexual nature to another woman Your man is stepping out on you, and he is using intimidation to force you into a position of subservience. If you are in a relationship, it is never acceptable to send nude, sexual photos to another woman or man outside of your relationship. His overreaction and attempt to lay blame on you is his way of hiding the truth. If he had nothing to hide, this wouldn't be an issue, but the moment you pointed out the truth, he tried to cover it up by blaming you. This is an abusive situation and you need to take yourself out of the equation. His blatant disrespect for you and for your relationship is enough to tell you what is really happening. Move on!

Rebecca Brody is a Relationship Coach in New York City. She is the creator of She Caught the Crazy! If you need relationship advice or want to work with Coach Brody contact Brody@TheLuvCoach.com or go to www.TheLuvCoach.com. For more crazy stories visit www.SheCaughtTheCrazy.com