Men have giveaways. For instance, women can tell a lot about us by our shoes. And just as much, if not more, women can learn a lot about us by our hair. With each of them, there are issues are of quality, style and upkeep. But for now, I'll save my thoughts on the importance of footwear for another time. This one is far more personal and far less explored – the topic of men and our crowns.

Now, that I'm in my late thirties things are slowly changing, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. The hair on my head doesn't grow as thick and evenly as it once did. And my hairline? It's only a smidgen easier to find than WMDs in Iraq circa 2003. In fact, depending on the mirror and the quality of light, some days it smacks of a fading rumor. If I wasn't already married, I'd be in full meltdown mode by now. A man's hair is psychological. It can affect how he sees himself and how he interacts with the world and particularly women.
The truth is the hemorrhaging of our hair is what leads many of us down the aisle. The race to the altar, sub-consciously, is a race against being exposed as vulnerable men with hairlines that have fled the scene of our youth. Personally, I suffer from a bout of hairline envy every time I see the 19-year-old with an edge up resting midway down his forehead -- enough to provide shade to the rest of his face. Sometimes it's a bit extreme like a pair of pants that are way too long, but it's still a better alternative than sporting the equivalent of a high-water hairline.

I don't know. Maybe it's the hairline hater in me, but minus an exception here and there, no black man working on his fourth decade of life should have a perfect hairline. He can't be trusted. I recently came to this conclusion while watching an interview with Tyler Perry. His hairline appears flawless in a penciled-in type of way. Maybe its a sign of a perfectionist, although, I tend to think it's more symbolic of a man with things to hide. And no woman wants a man keeping secrets any more than she wants a man spending the same amount of time as her in front of the mirror. Imagine the arguments Rev. Sharpton and his wife must have over bathroom time in the morning. But that's a can of grease I'm not opening today, as the black community has a long and complicated relationship with men and perms.

And for obvious reasons, thinking about Rev. Sharpton makes me think about race. Let's just say there are some differences at play when it comes to our hair. White men, unlike their African American counterparts, are more prone to perform embarrassing acts of desperation like the comb over and succumbing to the temptation of the toupee. No woman, regardless of race, is ever turned on by the hilarity of artificial head turf. I mean look at Denzel Washington. Now look at Rod Blagojevich. Now look at Denzel. Now back at Blagojevich. Denzel is riding a horse. But that's beside the point. Denzel looks at ease with his hair and as if the production to get ready is fairly effortless. Blagojevich, on the other hand, looks like he's absolutely capable of behaving like the buffoon he's revealed himself to be. The hair speaks for him -- "this dude is guilty of some dumb sh*t." I think the saying goes that "the cover up is usually worse than the crime".

Black men, however, are guilty of waiting too long. The best option for those of us suffering from the follicle recession seems to be the bald head. It's certainly the most respectable. Women find it sexy (on most heads) and men find it easy to maintain. There isn't anything worse, however, than when a bald man gets lazy and allows for the resurrection of stubble that reveals a dormant George Jefferson horseshoe head of hair ready to sprout. This is a man with a lackadaisical attitude about things.

Here's the thing -- with the likes of DSW Shoes, quality male footwear can be deceiving to the untrained eye. Hair, however, is far more transparent. Think of it this way -- our hairlines are sand on the beach. Our foreheads are the water. The water is washing up on the beach and the sand slowly but surely evaporates. Some of us will use Rogaine (yes, black men use it) and counterfeit coloring, but eventually the levees are going to break and forehead will flood the hair. And FEMA will be nowhere to be found, as usual.

So as I was saying, women can learn a lot from how a man deals with the issue of his hair. Is he a man who handles change with style and grace or is he a man who mishandles change with panic and denial? These are important things to know as a relationship evolves as they speak to how he may handle other issues that are more important.


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