
In a perfect world, games would never have to be played. But we don't live in a perfect world. However, knowing the rules may keep you from having to play so many games. Here are ten rules every single gal should live by in the first two months of dating. Pump your brakes, and stay sane!
1. Never ask a guy out
Even in our post modern society where men do respect an independent woman who can do for herself, the thrill of the chase still remains. Men will swear up and down they would rather not deal with a difficult woman or one that is to hard to reel in, but they secretly really do love the challenge. Hard to get still works, because men are smart enough to know nothing worth it comes easy.
2. Never advertise
Branding yourself in business is great, but in your love life? Not so much. Guys recognize that a woman who is always advertising to potential suitors what she can do is also a woman covering up a lot that she can't deliver. There's no need to always state how much you can cook or how much you enjoy watching football. If it's true, actions speak louder than words and he will soon see. Instead of putting all your selling points out there, let him discover your added value.
3. Never do house dates
If you start having dates in the house, you will always stay in... the house. Granted we are in a recession, but work it out, because when you're first dating someone it is good to see how they interact with not only you, but the public as well. Blockbuster nights are cool but not exactly appropriate for the first few months of dating. You won't be able to check your guy on romance later on, if you never started expecting it from the jump.
4. Never pressure him into introducing you to friends/family
Why do you want to get to know Tyrone when you're still getting to know your man? Guys will allow you meet his boys, his mama or his daughter when they feel comfortable. Most guys feel that bringing a new woman into their "other world" is a major move, and pressing the issue will only cause them to retreat. Realize you've been around for a few weeks, and these people have been in his life for much longer. Don't force the issue; you risk losing the sincerity of the introduction.
5. Never try to control anything but yourself.
When things don't go the way we want, a few of us go-getters will try to control and manipulate the situation so that it makes more sense to us. When getting to know someone and building a foundation, reach that level of maturity that allows you to know that what will be done will be done, and you can only control how you react. That isn't to say just put up with just anything, but knowing you can't change anyone is important. When it's all said and done, you can only change your own perspective and actions.
6. Never apologize for having standards
Standards are essential; they ward off all the losers. Whether your standards are high or specific make no apologies for them, it is okay to want what you want. What you accept from him in the beginning is what you will have to continually tolerate. Period.
7. Never try to think what he is thinking
Trying to think for him, especially in the beginning, will have us lost and mistaken. A man's mind doesn't work like ours, and with the pressure society puts on them, more than likely their thoughts are not as love focused. Nine times out 10,what you you may think is deep and serious, he hasn't even thought twice about. Instead of assuming and being wrong, it's much easier to ask and discover.
8. Never invade his privacy
No matter how tempting or how angry you may be, don't cross the privacy line. That means no rummaging through his drawers, peeking at his cell phone texts when he's snoring or popping up unannounced to his crib for a "surprise visit." Whether your intentions are good or not, invading his privacy is like putting him in a choke hold -- he'll start to feel he can't breathe.
9. Never tell everything
The idea of leaving something to the imagination doesn't just apply to your attire, it also applies to your personal business. While it's good to tell the truth, it never works in your favor to put every secret, every past relationship, every wild moment that transpired out in a dinner conversation. He may open up to you and share his heart, but please believe he's leaving out a few details. You don't want any big reveals early in the relationship to later be the reason he runs for the hills when something goes wrong. "She did say she slashed her ex's tires..."
10. Never let a guy be your only activity
No matter how fun and amazingly connected you feel in the first few months, stay busy with other things. Outside of your job, there should still be other things going on, so that all your energy and time isn't invested in your suitor to prematurely. Tying it all back to rule No. 1 -- guys love a challenge, and there is nothing challenging about a woman who is up under them and always available.


Comments: (43)
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By: denise on 3/24/2010 8:21PM
things any adult woman should already know or your momma should have taught you before you started dating...oh well, sad, but better late than never i guess. hopefullt these late bloomers will break the cycle and teach their daughters so we'll have less children engaging in sex, worn out by the time tier 20 with no marital prospects for miles. which reminds me where is #11 try keeping your legs closed!
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By: La Monte' on 3/24/2010 8:49PM
This is just the type of information which will keep most women s-i-n-g-l-e! Ok, for the most part numbers 4 and 8 have some merit.
Ladies, the simple truth is that men want to think that you are all in to us. We feed on this, a lot.
Most of us will not admit this but just knowing that you are all in to us makes our day, week and month. You hear guys saying," Man, she is all in to me." Inside he is loving it. His day will be much brighter and it's all because of you.
If you DON'T Advertise, you will not get the guy-for the most part. Advertising is not bad, it's just how you advertise. My suggestion for female friends is to show some and hide some. Don't have your boobs out and your ass out. Pick one or the other. Personally speaking, you can come naked, I don't have a problem with that. I am French. That's for another time.
Anyway, just dress (and please do act) like you have some sense.
If you have all your baby daddies'names tatted on your chest and neck area, you might want to cover that up. Be truthful in your advertising. Guys hate to unwrap magical gifts with no magic.
You better tell us everything. Like, your ex is fresh out the penn and he thinks you're still married. Or, you have an ankle monitoring device on which will not come off for the next 60 ms. And guys, feel me on this. Ladies, please tell us if you eat a lot. You should not be eating for 2-3 folks on your date. These are the type of things you say right up front.
Please try to think what I am thinking! That way, you can bring me some nachos and beer during half time and I will not have to call you. Afterall, I am your only activity.
Standards, we all have them and we all had them. Just look back at your list from a few years ago. Stop asking yourself what happened to the guy and start asking yourself, what am I doing to make myself ready for this guy?
Truly, men like women with meat on their bones. However, you know damn well, that's right, you know that you need to drop that extra weight. You are not breathing right and your self esteem is taking a hit. Just because some "rich single fat women" say it's ok to love yourself the way you are mean they will help you breathe and walk down the stairs at work (or church) if a fire breaks out. Master your single time to build the best YOU possible and that you can afford.
Peace-
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By: Warren D on 3/24/2010 9:49PM
This article just made me realize anew, how glad I am that I'm married! No more games, no asinine "rules", wasted money and expectations, none of that.Just comfort and peace of mind.
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By: Truethat on 3/25/2010 10:24AM
G Craige Lewis "Power of One"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0o1ShzgY2g
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By: wickedmercedez on 3/25/2010 2:30PM
Lol this has some valid points but im 6 ft tall( when i dont wear heels) and men dont approach me so i approch them and it works out. Why should a woman wait for a man to approach her? Some women that are doing this are still SINGLE! I know from my experience, some guys like being approached. It takes all the pressure off of them to make the first move. Maybe this works for me and my generation but that part is far too 50's for my taste.
And dont ask him to introduce you to his friends?? Seriously??? You want to be kept in the dark? I can understand if you just started dating but if its been like 3 months and you havent met any of his friends or not a single person in his family thats a problem. Thats where you want to know if hes really interested in you or if you are just the side peice. But if you are tying to be apart of someones life and they are keeping you away from important people in their lives why would you want to be with that person anyways? Just to say yo have a man??? No thank you
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By: Lisa Hill on 3/25/2010 4:57PM
I guess just being honest, considerate, kind, calm, understanding, good listener and being yourself (instead of trying to play games with other people's heads would be a good way to start. Always start off as friends first, and then see where the rest will take you
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By: Bill Schrier on 3/25/2010 8:15PM
Dating tips aren't going to help black women get a black man. One third of them are in prison, and the rest prefer white women.
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By: spirit on 3/27/2010 6:08PM
There you go again BILL. Your hatred for black people are keeping you alive, yet you are compelled to be in BV....SAD
Did a black woman tell you that your d**k was to small? Did a black woman disrespect you. Did a black woman refuse to date you? I knew it, that's it. You hate blacks because we are better than you
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By: jay on 3/28/2010 1:02AM
Your #1 rule - never ask a guy out is totally wrong. There are a lot of very nice shy guys who may be interested in you, but are too shy to ask you out. A "player" will always ask you out, but quiet, reserved guy may not, but will be flattered that you asked him and may be the best choice you ever made.
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By: Renee on 3/26/2010 9:22AM
Fantastic.. literally 7 out of the 10 things that are mentioned in this article are things that I say to may friends and my daughter.. I often catch a lot of flack for #1 never ask a guy out...but it is so true.. along with the other stuff... I 'll have to forward this on because while more women should know this ..unfortunately a lot of them do not..
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