Does She Talk Too Much?

My wife talks too much. She goes non-stop. I don't even know what she's saying half the time because I tune her out. I try to listen but instead of getting to the point she goes round and round and she loses me. Many of my friends complain about the same thing with their wives and girlfriends. Any thoughts on this?

- Dajuan

Is it that she talks too much or you don't talk enough? Let's be honest about this. Most of us (as in men) would rather whack a hornets' nest repeatedly with our bare hands than hold conversations of any great length with our significant others. Early in relationships, it's different though. We're talkative. We're more expressive. But when the chase is over, so is the conversation in a lot of cases. And with that, the communication in many relationships gets reduced to a bastardized form of sign language or a never ending game of charades.

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It's the great verbal divide between couples. What starts out as a mere crack threatens to become a major fault line that undermines the entire landscape of the relationship. Ever find yourself at a restaurant with your significant other and because the two of you have very little conversation taking place you begin to glance around the room and notice other table interactions or the lack thereof? Invariably, what you discover is, minus the clanging of forks and knives and perhaps some placating of obnoxious kids, others couples are also dining in relative silence. It's a telling commentary on relationships.

But to your point, there is another side to this and possibly just as problematic. Sometimes women really don't know when or how to shut the f%*k up. They seem to go and on about things that appear irrelevant to our existence. In reality, however, there are times when they're actually pressing us about matters that need to be discussed. There are three conversation non-starters that bubble up over and over again: the children, the bills and the state of the union (as in relationship). None of which we want to discuss, ever.

Finding that middle ground where both parties can co-exist is ideal, but tricky. It's a classic case of being careful what you ask for, as the conversation that needs to take place about conversations is the very type of conversation you were trying to avoid in the first place. Damn if you do. damn you don't. Irony is a double-headed behemoth that way.

I do have an idealistic thought, however. What if the communication in relationships – going both ways – reflected the principles and spirit of Twitter? Conversations would no longer feel infinite. The short exchanges would consist of thoughts abridged to 140 characters. Yes, we would count the space between each spoken word, as well as the implied punctuation. It's possibly a win/win. Women get to have the dialogue they want or need and men get the brevity that we so desire. Everybody's happy.

Mason Jamal writes about issues pertaining to the style, substance and sensibilities of men (and sometimes women). For more of his musings, you can visit www.MasonSays.com. You can also follow him on Twitter @masonsays and on Facebook.