Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm SO over Valentine's Day
I'm hoping you are too
If you're a guy in a relationship, celebrating Valentine's Day is not an option -- it's a requirement. Each year you're forced to top the last and if you disappoint it may be your last. If your girl says she doesn't care about the holiday, guess what? She's LYING!
If you're a girl in a relationship, you spend the weeks prior to V-day trying to predict what your man will do to profess his love for you this year. If he goes all out he's the best thing since sliced bread but let him come up short and you'll find yourself reevaluating how much he supposedly cares because if he really loved you he would have pulled some stunt out of 'Hitch,' right?
If you're single -- like myself -- Valentine's Day simply serves as yet another sad and painful reminder of the fact. And like many, you view February 14th as the commercialized and overly hyped production that it truly is. If I sound bitter, you're right. However, all biases aside there are plenty of people who would agree that the so-called annual 'celebration of love' causes more harm than good and you'll be happy to know it isn't just the "single ladies with their hands up," who feel this way.
Jay Cataldo, relationship expert and author of 'Get Your Girl Back,' is making it his mission to bring an end to Valentine's Day once and for all. Cataldo-who is not single-believes a dangerous emphasis has been placed on V-day as the love odometer of relationships. Cataldo goes even further by claiming that nixing V-Day can actually help strengthen a relationship. Recently he revealed to Black Voices his top reasons why Valentine's Day should be banished.
Single ladies rejoice. Couples take notes. Hallmark be worried.
Reason #1: Men try their hardest to please their woman and get nothing in return
"Men are tired of spending a month's pay on dinner and gifts only to receive a foul attitude because it just wasn't good enough," says Cataldo. Okay that's harsh, but it is safe to say that Valentine's Day is a gender biased holiday. Women can typically expect dinner, expect a card, expect roses and expect a prepared romantic evening. What do guys expect? Sex and a Hallmark card. (And that's if they're lucky)
Reason #2: Valentine's Day simply serves as a competition for women and their girlfriends
Your man manages to get dinner reservations at one of the most sought after restaurants in the city and tickets to a Broadway show. You're on cloud nine the day after until you hear that you're best friend's beau donned her with diamond earrings for V-day. One minute you're thinking "Isn't he the greatest?" and then it's more like, "Why couldn't he do that?" Focusing on what your man doesn't do can have you forgetting what he actually does and measuring your relationship to others is not only dangerous but unhealthy.
Reason #3: Guys are celebrating Valentine's Day because they are scared
Let's face it, some women have a way of threatening insisting that their man do something special for them on Valentine's Day. Most men oblige but not because they want to but because they know you want them to. V-day then, "becomes a song and dance and it doesn't show that he loves you," says Cataldo.
Reason# 4: Women have ridiculous expectations on Valentine's Day
"I say it's time for men to stop giving in to unrealistic expectations and put an end to this nonsense for good," says Cataldo. If you ask me, Hollywood is to blame for this. Romantic comedies always show the leading man going above and beyond to profess his love to his lady leaving us women thinking our man should measure up to this false ideal. The reality is, not every man can be Noah from 'The Notebook,' but some women find it hard to accept this.
Reason# 5: Valentine's Day makes men become completely unromantic in a relationship
"If you're not doing things periodically you're not doing your part," says Cataldo. If you send the message to your man that he better do it big on Valentine's Day, he probably will. However, that may be the only time of the year he'll feel inclined to pull out all the stops. Having your man focused on making you happy one day out the year basically gets him off the hook the other 364 days. He shouldn't need a holiday as an excuse to shower you with love.
Maybe 'killing' Valentine's Day isn't the most realistic approach to improving one's relationship but taking the focus off of the holiday isn't a bad idea. I believe that men and women should take the time to let their significant other know how much they mean to them on a regular basis. That way when Valentine's Day does roll around, it's simply another day that you're reminded of your love for one another-and the date just so happens to be February 14th.