My girlfriend has issues. She gets upset every time I go out to a strip club with my friends. I try to tell her it's just entertainment, but there's always an argument when I get home. Why can't she just relax about it?

-- Myron

So here's the deal: Every couple has their own version of what's known in broadcast media as "standards and practices." They guide the moral and ethical decisions that are made within a relationship. Ideally, both parties are in agreement on what they'll tolerate in terms of edgy content, but that's not always the case. Specifically, the entertainment value of disrobed women, seductively gyrating in stilettos for a night's pay, seems to be a point of contention for a lot couples.

Therefore, when it comes to strip clubs, a lot of guys falsify their whereabouts, as if they were CIA agents on covert missions to Ass-ghanistan. We all have a friend or two who operate in this manner and it's a sad sight to see. In your case, at least you're honest and up front about it, which is more than a lot of men can say. It's not like you're venturing off for a Brazilian sex vacation. You're just looking to be teased and titillated for a few hours by some women, who you hope your daughters and nieces don't grow up to be. I got it. Been there (literally) plenty of times.

Having said that, place yourself in her shoes. Imagine that she and her girlfriends are always hotfooting it to male strip shows featuring dancers with those ridiculous names that women seem to find flirtatiously enticing after a couple of drinks. You know who I'm talking about -- names like "Dr. Mandingo," "Jack Hammer," "Chocolate Hurricane," or "Notorious Biggie Ballz.." And it doesn't matter that I just made these names up. The question is how would you feel about it? If you have some uneasiness with the thought, maybe now is a good time to think twice about your own outings. After all, karma is more than just the name of your favorite stripper.

Something else to consider is bringing the girlfriend along (minus the fellas) on one of your pleasure trips, assuming she's up for it, of course. I don't think most men realize this, but a lot of women, especially those in their twenties and thirties, are game. If for no other reason, they're curious. They want to know what the fascination is. Typically, they end up entertained and often amused by it all. And I'm not sure what it is, but female strippers love female tippers. It's unwritten strip club law; the guy who brings the open-minded girlfriend or wife usually makes out like a lucky bastard by the end of the night. One thing I advise against, however, is excessive tipping on your part. Making it rain isn't suggested when you're out with your girlfriend Actually, girlfriend or not, the whole spectacle is absurd. But something about dropping a wad of cash on a naked woman who's feverishly smacking and clapping her butt cheeks while you're girlfriend looks on just doesn't scream best idea ever.

Regardless of tipping habits, be sure you pick a spot that ranks high on the "ashy to classy" index. It makes all the difference in the world. A (bullet) hole in the wall establishment that lacks visible outdoor signage, requiring a secret knock, and that operates without proper permits and licenses may not fly with the woman who already suspects you have sleazy tendencies. Plus, getting your girlfriend swept up in a vice squad raid is not exactly going to grease the skids for the next outing, with or without her.

Now, Myron, if you're hiding something, like you're secretly living out the lyrics to 'I'm In Love With A Stripper' then you're the one with the issues, not her. The first thing you have to do is stop being influenced by strip club anthems. Falling hard for women who go by stage aliases like Karma, Kandy-licious and Klamyida isn't a good look. The second, but most important thing you have to do if you're indeed in love with strippers, is evaluate your commitment to your real relationship. Always know where home is. That's the most important thing. Keep it all in perspective, player.