Luv Coach Q&A: Stay or Go?

I have been with my wife for over 30 years and she has always been less than sexual and even less affectionate. We have stopped making love on her part not mine. I still love her, but my patience is running thin. What should we do?

Edwin

As relationships age, it is very easy for couples to become complacent with their situation, and they forget that they still have to work to keep the relationship vibrant, healthy and exciting. It sounds like you entered into a marriage with someone who was unable to fulfill your emotional needs from the very beginning. The question you have to ask yourself is what you are doing to get your emotional needs met. How are you letting her know that you need affection, and how specific are you about the type of affection that you are looking for? First, try asking for a hug or a kiss and address the issue of the lack of sex. Let her know that sex plays a large role in the connection necessary for a couple to bond, that you find her attractive and that you want to continue bonding with her. Open the lines of communication to find out what she finds sexually exciting, as this may have changed over the years. If she is unable to fulfill your needs, then let her know that you two need to get professional help so you can figure out how to inject the spice back into the marriage.

I am in a relationship with this guy who seems to be working in London. He says that he is coming here to live but is yet to show. He often says he needs help for his mom and that I should send money. Now, he calls me his wife and says he wants to make me happy. He says he's up all night and wants to talk, and that if he didn't love me he wouldn't be up or wouldn't be chatting late hours. Is he for real or trying to pursue a plan that he has put together? Then he says I'm special to him and I made him feel that life is worth living for. Help me! Should I believe him or pray to god to send him out of my life?

Pat

It sounds like this guy is running a scam. The fact that you have never met him and he is asking you for money is a huge red flag. This man does not love you, and he is most certainly using you for his own financial gain. He may be setting you up so that when he does come to the United States, you will agree to marry him and he can get a Visa or green card to stay in the country. There are many other cases of this happening to unsuspecting women, just like you. Your best choice is to cut him out of your life. You will find someone who will love you for who you are, not what you can get him.