I have been dating my boyfriend for over three years, and as the time has passed, I have become increasingly obsessed with getting engaged. First, let me clarify what I mean by obsessed. I have already picked out the ring, and I visit it online several times a day. I even have the page loaded in my iPhone in case I want to drop in to say hello on the go. I have scoured the islands for the perfect beach spot to have a wedding, and I check in every few days in hopes that I may find a sale on the villa. Like every woman in these ravaged economic times, I love a good bargain, so why not on a wedding?
I fantasize about how I will feel when he pops the question and try to get into his head to see if he's thinking about it too. This inevitably leads me to look dreamily at him and ask that inane question "Whatcha thinkin?" I dare say my 'googly' eyes look a little crazy when I get that way. I started surfing the web for wedding dresses but then stopped that practice. I realized I was getting ahead of myself, since I wasn't even over the first hurdle. I was not engaged.
As my wedding clock ticks away, so does my sanity. The vain thought that I don't want to look old in my wedding pictures slips into my mind, and I have to dismiss it along with fears that he will never ask or that maybe he thinks I am not marriage material. As I hear stories of friends who got engaged over the holidays, I feel happy for them as well as a tinge of jealousy that I have not achieved the coveted status of fiancee. With all of these negative thoughts feeding my insecurities, I feel the need to address all the ladies who suffer from this common condition: Ring Bling Obsession!
- Coveting a shiny, sparkly ring and believing that once the box is opened, eternal happiness will miraculously follow. (Have we forgotten about Pandora's box?)
- The belief that the title "fiance" will elevate you to a status that is above others, and make you uniquely special.
- Constantly fantasizing about the day he pops the question, and the beautiful wedding you have already planned.
- Living in anticipation that he may pop the question at any moment, and not only feeling dejected when he doesn't, but angrily labeling him a failure to commit.
- Pointing the finger at your partner each time some one asks when you two are going to get married and bitterly replying "I don't know. Ask him!"
Take a look inside yourself and try to understand why you suffer from ring bling obsession. Do you want control, acknowledgment, stability, division or connection? What do you fear losing? Your happiness is based on your perception, so focus on what you have instead of being obsessed with what you don't have. The day will come when you get to call yourself his wife, but, until then, enjoy every moment you get to call him your love.