Writer's note: This post is written from the perspective of one man and his experience. It may not apply to all couples and certainly not to all women.

Men, there is a battle being waged in the wee hours of the night, every night. And, more often than not, we're on the losing side of the tussle. The adversary may be soft and sexy, but she's also sly and skillful in her effort to win the battle of the bed. The middle of the night can be quite contentious for those of us who share the sheets with a significant other. Waking up at 3 a.m. to find our side of the bed is encroached upon is a problem that too many of us feel helpless to address. But we don't have to suffer quietly. We have recourse. We also have research.
Most studies show that the average married couple will spend nearly one-third of their lives sleeping together. However, the implications of that reality vary depend on the study or who you're asking. Some experts say sleeping peacefully together can keep a marriage healthy, especially when cuddling is involved. Other studies indicate people suffer 50% more sleep disturbances if they share a bed. Sleep specialist Dr. Neil Stanley, who claims to sleep separately from his wife, says that historically couples didn't share beds. He contends that sharing beds came about with the advent of the industrial revolution, when people began moving to overcrowded towns and cities and found themselves short on living space.

Research aside, allow me to share how this married writer sees it. From my own experiences along with informal inquiries of friends and family, I conclude that it's women who tend to be the bullies of the bed. They establish position and assert dominance over their masculine counterparts, robbing us of a solid night's sleep on a regular basis. The night usually starts off with good intentions, but most men (and I assume most women) would rather not cuddle all night every night. It gets hot and ho-hum after a while. There comes a time in every night for sleepful solitude. And therein lies the problem; eventually most women tend to fidget, wiggle and squirm their way over to our side of the bed. It's a war of attrition and men are losing. It is the sheer magnetism of men? I doubt it. Most of the time, I don't think women are even conscious of the space invasion; it's just second nature.

Personally, I don't believe in being wifestyled, but I must admit that I'm getting my ass kicked, literally and figuratively, in the battle of the bed. Let me explain how this works in an ideal world. One-third of the bed is hers, where she is to be left alone. We'll call it Israel. One-third of the bed is mine, where I'm to be left alone. We'll call that Palestine. And the remaining one-third in the center of the bed is ours. We'll call that Jerusalem, where both parties agree to occupy this territory in a harmonious and embracing way. It's peace in the middle crease. But damn it, when I retreat to Palestine I want my uninterrupted space and sleep. And when she retreats to Israel, I agree not to launch any unexpected scud missiles. But Mrs. Jamal, like many women, don't see it that way evidently.

Men, it's time we take back the night. Get your cuddle time in. That's cool and, apparently, it can lead to healthier relationships according to the studies. But when the time of the night comes to retreat to our respective sovereign territories, roll over and defend the man land. First go the diplomatic route and ask that she go back to where she came from. But if diplomacy fails, try the not so subtle butt push back. You know what I'm talking about. Just do it. I'm thinking they'll eventually agree to a truce in the battle of the bed. We can only hope.



Mason Jamal writes about issues pertaining to the style, substance and sensibilities of men (and sometimes women). For more of his musings, you can visit www.MasonSays.com. You can also follow him on Twitter @masonsays.