NikkiOpening up to your man can be scary, when you believe that he doesn't want the same things that you want. In any healthy relationship, you should be able to communicate your feelings and concerns, so it's time to take that step with your partner. Let him know how important marriage is to you, and that you understand that he may still have fear and pain from his previous experience, but you know that with work, he can overcome those debilitating emotions. Share with him why you think he would make a great husband for you, and let him know all the things that make him special to you. Describe a picture of the life that you two are going to live together and ask him what he would like to see in that picture. Suggest that he work with a relationship coach to overcome the negative thoughts and feelings that may be lingering from his last relationship. As for his ex, it is understandable that he still struggles to be there for her because she had a nervous breakdown. Watch his actions and make sure that he puts you and your relationships first. As long as he does not cross the boundary that he has set, then you can only take him at his word, and trust that they are only friends.
My girlfriend of 3 years has been putting pressure on me to pop the question. She started with dropping hints about what kind of ring she wants, and now she constantly brings up the fact that she can't wait to be my wife. I love her, but I am not sure that she is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I think she might be, but how can I be sure before I get myself into something I can't get out of?
Its time to dig deep and ask yourself some very serious questions about what you want in a partner. Grab a piece of paper and fold it in half lengthwise. On one side make a list of "What is Right about this relationship?" and "What makes my girlfriend a great partner?". Once you have filled one side turn it over and fill the other side with "What kind of marriage do I want?" and "What do I want in a wife?". Once both sides are filled out, unfold the paper and compare how they match up. If there is an area that is unfulfilled for you then work on asking your girlfriend for what ever you need to fulfill that area. The choice to create the kind of relationship that will foster you and your love throughout the years to come is in your hands. It's time to step up and make the decision that is right for you.