- There aren't enough good men to go around. If you believe that statement, you will feel hopeless and will not even attempt to open yourself up to love. Positive Statement: There are plenty of fish in the sea, and one especially for me.
- A man looks outside of his relationship for sex if he is not being taken care of right. This limiting belief creates fear in a relationship, and it turns love into a burden. Changing this limiting belief will help you see that someone loves you for you, and that you are enough. Positive Statement: I am enough.
- I don't need to depend on anyone for help. This belief creates a wall between you and anyone who might be interested in getting to know you. It sends the message that no one is good enough for you, and that inevitably drives people away. If you want to experience a loving relationship, you have to learn to trust that you can depend on others. Positive Statement: I trust you
- When I lose weight, I will start dating. Waiting to jump into love based upon a change in your weight will limit you from experiencing great love. You are sending the message that you don't accept yourself, so why should anyone else? Positive statement: I am perfect just the way I am.
- I deserve a rich man. This sense of entitlement sends the message, "What can you do for me?" This is a turn off, and it pushes away anyone who doesn't fit into your idea of what a man should be. Positive Statement: I am open to meeting all types of people.
- All men are dogs who only want sex/All women are gold diggers who only want money. Entering into the dating scene with this limiting belief will attract the exact people you were hoping to avoid. You cannot judge everyone based upon the actions of one. Positive Statement: Everyone is unique and special.
- The only good men/women out there are already married. This belief makes you feel that it is useless to try to find a good partner, and it sets you up for failure before you have even begun to date. Positive statement: The world is full of great singles, and I am one of them.
- Once I meet the right man, everything will be perfect. This limiting belief mires you in a fairy tale, and it hinders you from experiencing happiness in the moment. Putting all your hopes in the idea that your life will be complete once you have a partner sets you up for a big fall when the other person can't fill your expectations. Positive Statement: My life is beautiful, and I am the master of my own happiness.
- Dating doesn't work. With this belief, you have taken yourself out of the game before it has even started. Positive Statement: Dating allows me to meet new and interesting people.
- No one will like me because I am too poor/fat/ugly. This limiting belief tells the world that you are worthless, and if that is what you put out, that is how the world will see you. Positive Statement: I am lovable!
If you catch yourself thinking or saying a limiting belief, you should stop and think the exact opposite. If you think "I'm not good enough," you need to chuck out that limiting thought and replace it with "I am worthy!" You are in control of your experience, and steering your negative thoughts into positive ones will help you foster an environment that is ripe for love.
Comments: (10)
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By: eric on 10/01/2009 8:31AM
There are some very good BW out there, but sadly they're far and few! One can unfortunately bear witness to that fact on any given day that you visit BV's, walk through your local mall, supermarket, or just attempt to be cordial to the majority of BW regardless of the venue wherein. BW need to carry themselves better, respect themselves, and both value, and also nurture themselves. Stop having OOW babies acting out, being rude, loud, and in general obnoxious with attitude, and then only complaining about "where are the good BM?" Most, men regardless of race don't care for a ready made family nor the attitude, those points seem to have completely...and still are being missed by the majority of BW today. There's an old saying that my grandmother used to share with me many years ago, and it goes, "You only get back what you give". So, BW please remember that the next time you think that you have greater stock in your "back pockets", then you do in your brain! Peace be the journey.
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By: Rdh on 10/05/2009 12:30PM
I think u have to start speaking positivity over ur life. I started doing this and it has totally changed my outlook on dating life. I speak life over my dating life. I just believe, speak, and agree that God has a great marriage in store for me.
www.howtogetachristianman.blogspot.com
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By: Phoenix Futura on 11/20/2009 7:35PM
I think you missed the point, Erik. The point of this article is to stop yourself from going around saying, "Ain't no good BWs around!" If you do that, you psychologically and spiritually somehow cut yourself off. I can testify to this. I decided to stop my "Ain't no good brothers!" spiel, and instead chose to speak: "There are lots of good brothers out there. I meet them regularly. I like them and they like me." Something to that effect. And you know what? I started seeing and meeting good brothers. Speak those things that aren't as though they were. That's the Word. :)
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By: B-Love on 12/04/2009 11:44AM
Eric you sound a little angry at first but as i got to the bottom of the page and read your comments i see that you too must put
God first and ask him to show that there are women who do love themselves; not baby-having,trash-talking, stare-you-down,want-yur-money chicks out here; now for a moment close ya i gon pray for you
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By: tired on 10/01/2009 11:28AM
To the above,as a BW I agree with most of your points, however, OOW children
needs to be stopped by both MEN AND WOMEN. It takes two to make one.
I don't want a man with 1 not to mention 3 different "baby mommma's" either, b/c I am not taking care of/dealing with no ones love child/baby's mother. If men
would only stick their penis' in women they would def. start a family
with, it would help (i.e. instead of having sex with a woman just because she has a big ass or looks good, think about factors that matter, such as, can she cook?, will she be a good mother? is her head on straight? how is she with money?what are her values?, etc.) Stop throwing you life away for 30 seconds of
semi pleasure!
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By: eric on 10/01/2009 5:14PM
Well, first I'm not attempting to raise the heat with this discussion to the typical "unmanageable" and chaotic level which is sadly common place for BV's. But, with regard to OOW children I have to concur "in part" with your assessment, and I in fact totally agree with you on the fundamental point that "it takes two to tango"! That's more commonly referred to as "mutual responsibility". But, my point is that a woman is ultimately (in my mind at least) responsible for mandating that "any man" that she chooses to have intimate relationships with ...especially during these days of the HIV/AIDS epidemic should lay down the law as it applies to "safe sex"! Men should also adopt the very same position, however it's clear that there are many both men and women that simply fail to do that! Men as you well know don't get pregnant...women do, so having said that one would think, that women would, and should take the lead to ensure that doesn't occur, if that's not your intention in the first place. Now, for those women that choose to make that choice to (knowingly) have OOW babies, then they have to understand the consequences wherein, one of which is the simple fact that most men ...(like myself) don't want, nor require a ready made family, just like I'm sure that some women also don't care for that either. So, why are BW getting attitude when a BM is honest enough to say that he doesn't want to deal with that? Over the years I've heard some BW say that as well, so what's the issue? If, you as a woman make that personal choice then respect the way others feel as well. At the end of day it comes down to both BM and BW making either the "wrong" choices as it applies to their selection process.
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By: kisses on 10/01/2009 2:56PM
WOW,that was actually a good post .There is so many people out here in this world that thinks like that, myself included. I truly believe I have lost out or let go of some really GREAT MEN,all because of my own insecurities and beliefs.But i'am BLESSED to say,i'am working on ME, and sometimes, it still gets hard to just let go,and stop holding back or letting someone in.But with the help of Jesus and God,and a better me, i'am on my way to happiness.....first...........
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By: discorollie on 11/05/2009 10:02PM
LOVE is like every thing in your life it will come and it will go but the love you have for yourself always comees first !!! DISCOROLLIE IN BIG WINSTON.
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By: shemika on 11/10/2009 10:14AM
i just tired of no good men period my life for 10yrs with a man was a BIG lie he cheated all da time and come 2 me like he aint done nothing i just worthless i do not want 2 b with anyone at this point I haave to love me first and then a man my life is very stressful ritenow im a firm believer in things happen for a reason and gotta go thru something n order to get somthing and rite now i have me and my kids
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By: B-Love on 12/04/2009 11:44AM
gurl listen up and listen good, life is too dang gon short and personal to waste time on anyone for that matter without loving God first; God has to come first, i'm telling you something that i do know; i was with a man who told me he loved me and the whole nine but what give him the bright idea that he could mistreat me was me, i let him have control over every area of my being just to keep him, give God back control of your life!
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