It started when I was 18. The plan was to get married by 26. Guess what? I'm well past 26. Although not yet 30, the closer I get, the more nervous I got about not being married.

There has to be some mistake, right? I've got a great career. No multiple baby daddies over here. My credit's good, too. And I've got my degrees -- with honors, thank you very much. Hmm...survey says I'm a pretty good catch. So, what gives?

As days progress and years go by, we women start approaching the ripe old age of "I should be married by now." Hence, the agony of the "wedding nags," those seemingly subtle voices of "reason" that tell us exactly what age we are to be married by. And, of course, if we get so much as one hour past that fateful day, we're doomed for life.

Bottom line is, the wedding itself is the least of your worries. Yes, I know: white gown, live band, jealous chick from across the street. Check, check, check. It all sounds great. Now, what happens in the days, months and years after the cake's digested and the stargazer lilies have wilted? Do you truly want to spend your life with this person? Or was he just a stand-in at the wedding and a viable candidate for the honeymoon "activities"?

If you answered the latter, don't fret. I've been there. Engaged to a man I had no desire to marry whatsoever, just because my "time" had passed and, dammit, I deserved to be married as much as the next chick.

Okay, Gwen, I get it. Now what?

First things first. Turn off the WE channel. Seriously, trust me. It works. With their insatiable need to inundate us with 24 hours of incessant wedding programming, 365 days a year, its no wonder we're living vicariously through 'Platinum Weddings.'

Second, keep parental wedding nags at bay. Sure, they want you to get married and be happy. But getting married to the next thing with opposite parts and, thus, curing their need for grandbabies and son-in-laws who can help clean out the attic won't do a thing for your personal satisfaction. Tell Mom and Dad you are in search of a significant other, not a ring and a sperm donor. But be nice. You don't want to end up getting slapped into next week because you left your tact at home that day.

And, finally, realize the average age at (the first) marriage has steadily increased since...forever. The need to be married yesterday is more self-inflicted than realistic. No one is going to fault you because you haven't jumped the broom yet. If anything, they'll fault you because you rushed into something, maxed out your credit cards and made them buy you a $200 blender from Macy's just to get an annulment after you realize he's really not the one.

Gwen Jimmere is the author of "If It Walks Like a Duck... And Other Truths My Mother Taught Me." For more information, visit www.theduckwalk.com.