Luv Coach Q&A: The Right Choice!

I have been dating my girlfriend for three months. The relationship is a long-distance one. I'm in Delaware, and she's in New York. We both knew that it would be hard, and I just recently started working a second shift, and I am about to start school. My girlfriend has been feeling very insecure about the distance, but when we do come together, we never spend any real time with each other. She is always either babysitting or doing something for someone else. I visited her after Christmas, and it was okay until her girlfriends came on my last day there and took her away for a girls' night out. The crazy thing is that she told them, "My man is here, I just got off work and I'm tired." But they insisted, and my girlfriend went with them without even telling me bye. I packed my things and left. She now doesn't want to speak to me anymore because I left without saying bye. I am really starting to think that maybe playing the game is safer then being real and staying connected.

The College Survival Guide

A Fridge
Regardless of whether you have a wonderful sized meal plan, your fridge may come in handy with leftovers or when you feel like stocking it with bottled drinks.

Computer
The convenience of a computer is essential when sending your kids off to college. Forget the hike to the computer lab across campus students need a computer in the comfort of their room. A printer comes in handy as well. Depending on whether your child plans to carry his laptop around campus, you might opt for a desk top since they're lighter on the pockets.

Snacks
You will surely survive with off of a meal plan but it doesn't hurt to stock up on snacks when you don't feel like leaving your dorm room. Bottled water, pop corn, cereal and Ramen noodles are all low budget snacks to stock up on. Just be weary of the freshman 15.

Things from home
Some college students suffer from homesickness the first year. It's best to surround yourself with things like photos of the family, pillows or even stuffed animals. Anything that reminds your child of home.

MP3 Player
With all the stress that comes from school and exams, sometimes it's nice to block out the chaos in your life and even your roommate with music. It's nearly impossible to find students walking to class who aren't jamming to tunes.

Budget
Students who enter college often come in at the ripening age of 18. A great time for credit cards. Parents beware, your child may end up ruining their credit at a young age

Alarm Clock
When you're in college you don't have the luxury of getting awaken by your parents. It's now your responsibility to get to class on time so alarm clocks are a must. But keep your roommate in mind. You shouldn't wake him up ever morning with a blow horn alarm.

Cleaning supplies
Now you don't necessarily need to bring in the rubber gloves, mop and gas mask but it doesn't hurt to bring along Clorox all purpose wipes for spills or dust. Vacuums and brooms come in handy too depending if you have a carpeted dorm.

Bedding
What most parents aren't aware of is that most college beds are twin sized but extra long and require special sheets. When shopping keep your eye open for sheets that clearly state 'extra long' or else your child may come up short.

Shower shoes
You really don't know what some people do in the shower these days. College showers are known to be creeping with germs so spare yourself the fungus and purchase flip flops for the shower. You'll thank us later!

Love may seem risky to you, but it isn't a gamble if you enter into it consciously. Your relationship is fresh and new; therefore, you two are just beginning to work out the boundaries and express your needs, wants and desires. It takes time, energy and plenty of communication to balance a relationship. The first step to working through your issues is to communicate your desire for your girlfriend to put you, and the time you spend with each other, above her friends. Set boundaries by letting her know that when you two are together, the relationship takes priority. As for leaving without saying goodbye, it rarely sends the message you intended, because you are using a negative form of communication. You are trying to punish her for choosing her friends over you, and in retaliation, she is punishing you by cutting you off. Punishment has no place in a healthy relationship, so drop the games and have an honest dialogue about what you need and want from her and from the relationship. We all want to be truly connected to our partners, and that means opening your heart and being vulnerable. Take the time to allow your relationship to grow organically, and make sure to nurture it every step of the way so that love blooms.

How do I get my man to work out our problems with me? He is angry with me for inviting a man over to my place at 3 a.m. for a hug, although, I repeat, the man only wanted a hug. My boyfriend claims men always want more than that. I feel as if he is angry at me for what could have happened and not what happened. Can you offer some advice?

Your man is justified in feeling threatened by another man coming over at 3 a.m. for a hug. Imagine for a moment what it would feel like for you if your man told you that a woman came over to his place at 3 a.m., but all they did was hug? What thoughts, emotions, feelings and insecurities would come up for you? If you want to work this out, you need to apologize and own up to the fact that it was inappropriate to invite a man to your home at that hour of the night. You are not single anymore; therefore, you need to make more conscious choices and take your partner into consideration when you make those choices. It is time to set boundaries for yourself of what will and won't work in your relationship, and remember that it's not all about "you" when you decide to be a "we."

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