The domestic violence saga between young pop stars Chris Brown and Rihanna has not only caused an uproar among fans and gossip junkies -- many celebrities are weighing in as well. The sordid story inspired Oprah Winfrey and Tyra Banks to dedicate entire episodes of their talk shows to domestic violence. Actress Robin Givens, who went through a very public struggle with spousal abuse during her marriage to former heavyweight champ Mike Tyson and is now a spokesperson for the National Domestic Violence Hotline, went on 'Larry King Live' to talk about the often-deadly cycle of abuse that plagues so many women.
"I've spoken to women every[where]," she told guest host Joy Behar. "Peoria, El Paso. ... And what's amazing is that I find that my story is their story; their story is my story -- down to the details. He dragged me down the hall by my hair. He pulled me out of bed by my panties. He would like to choke me. He would kick."
Domestic Violence Myths Exposed
Myth: Women are the only victims of domestic violence.
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Fact: Although women make up the majority of victims of domestic violence, men are not to be excluded. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief, men account for approximately 15% of the victims of reported abuse by an intimate partner. Men often fail to report the abuse because they fear no one will believe them or take them seriously. Children are also victims. In a national survey, 50 percent of the men who frequently assaulted their wives also frequently abused their children.
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Myth: Domestic violence happens only in poor, uneducated, minority households.
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Fact: There is no "typical victim" of domestic violence. It happens in ALL families and relationships. Regardless of age, class, religion, marital status or gender, anyone can be a victim of domestic violence. However, some statistics show that "minority" communities have higher rates of domestic violence. Approximately one in four women are victims of abuse.
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Myth: Domestic violence is only physical abuse.
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Fact: Domestic violence can come in the form of physical, emotional, psychological, and/or sexual abuse. According to Verbalabuse.com, name-calling is abusive because it says that you are BLANK, instead of a person. Batterers define their mates as objects. It isn't healthy to be in the same room with a person who defines you, and it is harmful to children who witness it. Physical abuse often begins with and is accompanied by verbal battering.
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Myth: If a woman doesn't leave, it must not be so bad.
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Fact: Leaving an abusive relationship is easier said than done. Women stay in abusive relationships for many reasons. The victim may:
-Be afraid of what the abuser may do if he finds out
-Have financial dependency on the abuser
-Be in love with the abuser
-Believe the abuse is her fault
-Have no other place to live
-Stay for the 'sake of the children'; the idea being that two parents are better than one.
Alex Mares-Manton, jupiterimages
Myth: Women who are abused often provoke it.
Fact: Abuse is often learned -- more than half of children who witness abuse will go on to be abusers -- and an abuser chooses to abuse. No one deserves to be abused and the abuser is the only one to blame.
That Rihanna seems to have reunited with alleged abuser Brown, who has been charged with felony counts of battery and making criminal threats in connection with the Feb. 8 incident, is not uncommon, Givens explained on the show. She said that Tyson hit her for the first time before they married, but she believed him when he said he loved her and wouldn't do it again.
On her show, Winfrey also referred to Rihanna and Brown's rumored coupledom, warning, "If a man hits you once, he will hit you again. He will hit you again."
But no matter how many celebrities and commentators weigh in on what Rihanna and Brown should do, the couple will ultimately come to a decision about their relationship on their own.
"The one thing I'd like to say to Rihanna, actually, as difficult as this all is, she does not have to answer to the media," Givens said. "She doesn't have to explain it. She has to take care of herself."
2008 Deaths
Odetta Holmes
"The Voice of the Civil Rights Movement" was a singer, actress, guitarist, songwriter and activist.
December 31 1930 - December 2 2008.
Ray Tamarra , Getty
Bernie Mac
Comedian, Actor
Oct. 5, 1957 - Aug. 9, 2008.
AP
Isaac Hayes
Singer, songwriter, record producer, composer and actor.
August 20, 1942 - August 10, 2008
Reuters
Miriam Makeba, "Mama Africa"
South African folk singer and anti-apartheid activist.
March 4, 1932 - November 10, 2008.
Reuters
Jennifer Hudson's 57-year-old mother, Darnell Donerson, brother, Jason, and 7-year-old nephew, Julian King, were killed in 2008.
AP
Shakir Stewart
The Island Def Jam executive who became head of the legendary rap label following Jay-Z's departure, killed himself on Nov. 1. He was 34 years old.
Getty
George Carlin
Stand-up comedian, actor and author.
May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008
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Madelyn Dunham
Barack Obama's grandmother
October 26, 1922 - Nov 3, 2008.
Getty Images
Levi Stubbs
Oct. 17: The iconic lead singer, second from left, who gave voice to Four Tops classics like "Reach Out I'll Be There" and "Baby I Need Your Loving" died at 72 from complications of cancer and a stroke. Abdul Fakir, far left, is now the sole living member of the original quartet.
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Dee Dee Warwick
Oct. 18: The soul songstress died after months of declining health. Warwick, the sister of soul legend Dionne, also achieved a great deal of success, both as a solo artist as well as with her sister.
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Comments: (551)
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By: simpson on 3/16/2009 4:20AM
could you not say so much as if you had nothing better to do?
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By: Incredulous on 3/13/2009 2:20PM
Is this Sir Topham Hat dude serious?!?! Wooooow! We really have a long way to go. Some folks really don't get it...
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By: Sir Topham Hat on 3/13/2009 4:25PM
Incredulous,
I'm not questioning Mike Tyson's action in regards to Robin. He did what he did. My question-just like in CB and Rihanna, the LAPD indicated that Rihanna read the text and slapped and pushed CB head into the window. My question is Why didnt LAPD charge Rihanne with simple battery. Why, classic case of a double standard. What CB did without question is stupid and foolish, but again, Rihanna just like Whiteney go away with a crime by simply being a woman.
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By: sasha on 3/15/2009 4:28AM
WOW! Can you read? it said HE slammed her head into the window after she YELLED and got in his face about the text. I'd get in my boyfriend's face too if we have an intimate relationship and he's getting texts from past sexual partners. The thought of STDs is no light matter, but yelling and getting in someone's face does not justify all the ish that happened to her. He went over and beyond with not one mark on him! (hint)
PLUS as far as her healing fast: DUH she has professional makeup artists! Ask lil kim and mary j. about that MAC for the abused!
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By: renice beavers on 3/15/2009 9:27PM
THERE S NO REASON IN THIS WORLD , WHY A MAN SHOULD HIT A WOMAN.... IF YOU THINK SO, YOU NEED THERAPY... HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE WORD WALK AWAY... GOD BLESS...
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By: Nette on 3/13/2009 4:50PM
Women abuse men; many fail to report it. Its only an opinion but there are instances when women provoke their men and unfortunate as it may be, men get pushed to the limit. On the contrary, there is no excuse for domestic violence.
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By: demillicent on 3/14/2009 5:57PM
Double speak.
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By: suzanne on 3/15/2009 8:53PM
Hello sir topham hat and all who agree with you:
You must hit your women.
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By: ej on 3/13/2009 5:00PM
Lord have mercy. You said what I been saying for sometime about women jumping in a man's face. Of course I do not promote violence but there is sometime a two way street. And by the way I am a woman. Ms. Opraha need to shut it down and let the court handle it. Another thing, I don't believe those photos TMZ showed on tv. She healed to fast.
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By: Bob on 3/14/2009 8:07AM
Chris and Rihanna are two selfish people. Who failed to be responsible for their actions. They failed to think about the hurt and pain this would cause their families, staff(many who will losse their jobs and homes)and their fans.Many of these fans are more loyal to Chris and Rihanna. Then either Chris or Rihanna are to their fans. Neither has yet to have the morals to express their sorrow to their fans. For their ignorance!
The ones who stuffer the most are the younger girls who look up to Rihanna. She has taken down perhaps an entire generation of pre teens and young teenage girls who will think part of love is getting smacked around. This is the wrong message. Chris sends the wrong message to young boys as well.
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