My husband lost his job recently, and every year for our anniversary we take a beach vacation. This year I am positive we can't afford it, but my husband is acting like we can. I went through our finances, and I am really worried that he is not more concerned with our situation. I don't need a big lavish vacation right now to know that he loves me, I just really want to feel financially secure. How do I tell him I don't think we should spend all this money right now?

It can be difficult to resolve financial issues when two people relate to money differently and they do not understand the beliefs the other person has concerning money. The key here is to ask your husband to give you his take on your financial standing. You want to find out his relationship to money, so that you can better understand why he believes you two can afford this trip. He may have the belief that money always comes, therefore there is no reason to worry about it. You also need to explain your own relationship to money. In order to figure that out try and remember the first time you had an experience with money growing up. The first time that you realized that money had value and ask yourself what you learned from that experience. How does that experience affect the way you approach money as an adult? Share this with your husband and make sure to explain that your relationship to money makes you feel like there just isn't enough for a trip right now. Let him know that the feeling of financial security is a greater gift to you than a vacation.

Both my husband and I work very hard to maintain the life style that we want for us and our two kids. My husband gives money to his mom every week to help her out, and this doesn't bother me, but recently his sister asked if he could lend her money to help out her husband and their three kids. Her husband just got laid off from his job. We sat down and went through all our finances, and my husband wants to cut our dinner dates out. We go out to dinner and a show once a week. That is our couples time together away from the kids. I feel that this is a very important time for us, and I don't want to give it up. I suggested that he cancel our country club membership, since he is the only one who uses it, and it costs a lot of money. He didn't like that idea. How do we resolve this?

These are difficult times for everyone, and reaching out to help family is an important step in maintaining the bonds of familial love. Both you and your husband need to be commended for choosing to help those in need. As for where the money should come from, you were right to disagree with giving up your date nights. Couples time is necessary if you want to maintain a healthy relationship and solid connection. Grab some paper and two pens and sit down with your husband. Each of you should make a list of your needs and a list of your wants. Under the list of wants, pick one item that you both feel you would be willing to give up or could live without. Once you two have come to an agreement as to which items are not required, make sure to reconnect with a hug and kiss and thank each other for making this sacrifice. You are husband and wife. You work together as a team to make sure that your lives and the lives of those you love are supported and cared for.