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By Lauren Williams, BlackVoices.comRihanna and Chris Brown have been the "it" teen couple -- the younger version of Beyonce and Jay-Z -- since they became an item last year. Photographers snapped intimate photos of them chilling in the pool on their island vacations and making fast-food runs in between tour stops. They seemed happy. Normal. In love. That's why it came as such a surprise when news broke Sunday that both superstars were skipping their planned appearances at the Grammy Awards because of an alleged domestic altercation. Now Brown, who is 19-years old, is out on $50,000 bail after being charged with assault with a deadly weapon, and a 20-year-old woman named Robyn Fenty, otherwise known as Rihanna, has been identified as the alleged victim.
Some might view domestic violence as an issue that affects older, married people. But according to the Justice Department, women ages 16-24 are victims of intimate-partner violence at nearly triple the rate of any other age group. Retha Fielding of the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline told Black Voices that no matter the outcome of the Brown and Rihanna scandal, it will shed light on an important issue.
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"It takes you back to OJ Simpson," she said. "I see that [the Simpson case] had a huge impact on domestic violence, because it can happen to anybody. It doesn't just happen to poor people living in poverty, although poverty is certainly an issue. So that trial and the length of that trial and the issues that we all talked about really brought visibility to the issue. Now, whether [Brown] is guilty or not guilty, that's still an issue that came to the forefront that we're all talking about today, and we should be talking about."
Often, Fielding said, young women are not sure that their relationships are actually abusive. But there are warning signs, like when a boyfriend sends incessant text messages, forbids a girlfriend from hanging out with certain friends or tells her what to wear.
"I think that if they are asking [whether their relationship is abusive], then it probably is," she said. "That's a lot of calls we get -- teens saying that something doesn't feel right in their relationship. They're questioning. They just know something doesn't feel right, and that's a good time to call the help line."
Women of all ages who are in abusive relationships should turn to people they trust, whether a loved one, like a mother or sibling, or someone at a center or a hotline.
For more information on the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline, visit www.loveisrespect.org or for direct assistance, call 1-866-331-9474 (TTY 1-866-331-8453).
Comments: (45)
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By: B.Strong on 2/09/2009 3:32PM
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By: Eric on 2/11/2009 5:57PM
Domestic violence is nothing new to the black community! We've talked and talked about this ongoing issue for years now, and also it's not just violence perpetrated by BM only either! BW conribute more than their share as well! Sadly, far too many young BM and BW have witnessed these acts of violence in their homes "first hand" while growing up! So, why is it so hard "not" to expect many of them to also engage in the same kinds of aberrant behavior? Children only "emulate" the exact same negative behaviors as their parents both display and exhibit. And, why do we only start to discuss this (ongoing behavior) when we hear about a celebrity that is a potential victim? When in fact this could be and probably is occuring "right now" in the home of another black family as we speak! Also, far too many of our people both (sexes included)seem to only know how to resolve situations through violent means. Why? Lack of home training, respect, or perhaps both? This kind of abuse can and does often times lead to the death of yet person of color. When pray tell are we going to get enough of seeing our black sisters and our black brothers dying?
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By: lovly2008 on 2/14/2009 7:34PM
I dont know if this is bad or good, but the state is now taking away children of those involved in domestic violence. They will tell the couple they must split up or they will never get their children back. Sadly many of these young couples grew up in domestic violence situations and did not see the state intervening, so do not take it seriously. Their children are then removed and they never see them again. Something needs to be done.
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By: anoymous on 3/17/2009 11:22AM
Domestic Violence, is creeping up on everyone. When you really don't know a person you should give it time before you get involved with them. I was with someone for four years and each year that i was with them was like a nightmare from hell. Each time that i told that person to leave and get out of my life was each time my life became more of a living hell. How i broke away is by leaving my own place of residence and to this day i have not been back to stay because he won't give me what belongs to me and i get nothing but threats. If i could turn back the clock i would never looked his way.
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By: jessup on 2/15/2009 5:36PM
Well folks, cant blame this one on poverty, lack of opportunity, and years of being treated like second class citizens.
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By: Mel on 2/14/2009 8:11AM
This situation proves that despite celebrity the rumblings of the soul does not discriminate-It's too easy to point fingers and call people names but at this juncture it's about rectification, law enforcement intervention and major counseling on both their parts. Throwing a stone from the front yard of a glass house can be dangerous. You might not be a participant but you sure can pray for a solution.
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By: Ron Carpenter on 2/14/2009 9:31AM
THIS IS NOT LOVE
I would like to encourage anyone and everyone who is offended by Chris Brown's abusive behavoir to stop buying his music! In addition, call your local radio stations and ask them to stop playing his music and don't supoort his sponsors or record label. Enough is enough.Write your local radio stations and his record company , send e-mails to express your views. There are so many people who want to be in show biz.Who are positive! Many whom have more self respect and more self love than to send the wrong message to us and our youth. Demand that record labels be more accountable for their performers.
Do the same if Rihanna is fooolish enough to take this out of control coward back.Then protest her too. She has to set a standard for younger girls as well.We the people need to demand a change for our children.It's a new day. Change is in the air! Let your voices be heard where it really counts. In their bank accounts.
This is unacceptable.This is not love. Love does not provoke fear, envy, anger, resentment, confusion, fighting, verbal abuse, pride, foolishness, controling behavior and jealousy.
If you are in in such a so called relationships. Love yourself and stop wasting your time because your time cannot be replaced.Life is short. Respect yourself and don't waste your time with someone who does not love his/herselfor who not trying to better themselves in understanding love. Love is really simple acts of sincere kindness. Love is all about giving. It is not selfish! Selfishness is the root of all evil. Clearly, Rihanna and Chris are two examples of lost people. Who hurt themselves and their fans because they never took the time to love themselves. There is a lesson for each of us to learn in this case.- Just one man's opinion.
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By: sparky on 2/14/2009 11:31AM
what would you do if your girl gave you a std she got from one of your friends?
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By: IOTA PHI THETA on 2/14/2009 3:06PM
I AGREE, ONLY IF HE IS ACTUALLY GUILTY. BUT IT SEEMS THAT YOU ALREADY FOUND MR BROWN GUILTY.. THIS IS A PROBLEM WE AS A PEOPLE ALWAYS SEEM TO HAVE. WE READ SOME NEWSPAPER ACTICLES AND BAM, BAM, YOUR GUILTY WITHOUT FIRST DOING SOME INVESTAGATING OF YOUR OWN.
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By: Kai on 2/14/2009 4:07PM
You must be white. With you people, its always about payback, Judge, Jury and Executioner!!!
Blacks have been fans of both of these young people and have followed their careers and enjoyed their music many years. What happened with both of these young people is nothing new considering what we hear on the news everyday. Its a tragic occurrence that should never have happened. Its sad this happened as there is never any justification for any man hitting a woman. Sadly, acts like this occur every day in every city even more so with the younger generation.
Chris Brown admittedly shared with the world the tragically abusive environment he grew up in. His childhood environment was sadly one of abuse from the time he was a young boy. This is also a sad tragedy. One can only pray that he gets the counseling he sorely needs. I am sure that Chris Brown is deeply feeling the brunt of his actions in addition to knowing he might have ruined his music career. He did the right thing and resigned from all of his sponsors.
What we don't need is you people making a circus out of this tragedy by your vindictive actions and
your unforgiving nature. One can only imagine where you people would be if every black in this country were to put your heads on the chopping block for all of your horrific, barbaric past misdeeds against Blacks.
One can only hope that Rihanna will heal physically and emotionally and be able to continue on with her unique style of music. As for Chris, one can only pray that he gets the counseling that he sorely needs and be able to put his life back on the right track.
There is always two sides to every story, but regardless of what the true occurrence on this tragic day was, whoever started it there is Never, Ever any justification for hitting a woman as it takes a bigger man to walk away from a volatiles situation. There are people in this world who should never drink as we see everyday the sad consequences stemming from those who can't handle their alcohol. But what we don't need is to start an all out condemnation circus crusade by Whites like you hell bent on crushing and destroying the life out of this young man just to satisfy your diabolical tendency for unforgiveness and inherent need for vengeance! More than likely Chris Brown is going through his own hell as well as Rihanna is going through a traumatic time and most likely her own hell.. Our prayers go out to Rihanna and we pray that Chris will get the counseling and help he needs.
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