Bust The Windows Out His Car: Love Gone Wrong

There is a song by Jazmine Sullivan burning up airwaves these days. It's called 'Bust Your Windows.' The song is about a woman breaking crazy on a cheating man. In short, the protagonist breaks all the windows of her beau's car when she learned of his infidelity. In part, the lyrics go:

I bust the windows out your car
After I saw you laying next to her
I didn't wanna but I took my turn
I'm glad I did it cuz you had to learn

Sullivan is not the first celebrity to write and/or sing about defacing a man's property. Carrie Underwood's 'Before He Cheats' talks about a woman catching wreck on her man's ride, too:

I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires
And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

What is it about women and defacing property when they've been done wrong?

2008 Deaths

Odetta Holmes
"The Voice of the Civil Rights Movement" was a singer, actress, guitarist, songwriter and activist.
December 31 1930 - December 2 2008.

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Bernie Mac
Comedian, Actor
Oct. 5, 1957 - Aug. 9, 2008.

Isaac Hayes
Singer, songwriter, record producer, composer and actor.
August 20, 1942 - August 10, 2008

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Miriam Makeba, "Mama Africa"
South African folk singer and anti-apartheid activist.
March 4, 1932 - November 10, 2008.

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Jennifer Hudson's 57-year-old mother, Darnell Donerson, brother, Jason, and 7-year-old nephew, Julian King, were killed in 2008.

Shakir Stewart
The Island Def Jam executive who became head of the legendary rap label following Jay-Z's departure, killed himself on Nov. 1. He was 34 years old.

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George Carlin
Stand-up comedian, actor and author.
May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008

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Madelyn Dunham
Barack Obama's grandmother
October 26, 1922 - Nov 3, 2008.

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Levi Stubbs
Oct. 17: The iconic lead singer, second from left, who gave voice to Four Tops classics like "Reach Out I'll Be There" and "Baby I Need Your Loving" died at 72 from complications of cancer and a stroke. Abdul Fakir, far left, is now the sole living member of the original quartet.

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Dee Dee Warwick
Oct. 18: The soul songstress died after months of declining health. Warwick, the sister of soul legend Dionne, also achieved a great deal of success, both as a solo artist as well as with her sister.

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The BV Luv Coach, Rebecca Brody, says she's an expert on women exhibiting behavior which she calls "catching the crazy," especially as it relates to infidelity.

"Women who feel scorned understand that they cannot hurt a man emotionally in a way that is connected to the love, because he has already done that, but they can attack his status and his property as a way of diminishing his position in the world."

As Blu Cantrell warbles in 'Hit Em Up Style' -- "if your man wants to get buck wild...hit 'em up style." That is, spend, spend, spend, and hit him in his pockets.

But after you've acted a fool, expressed your anger, and possibly caught a case, there comes a deep depression and doubt after you've been cheated on.

"When a mate is unfaithful, women inevitably ask themselves "What's wrong with me?" or "What did I do to push him away" or "Am I not enough?'" notes Kerika Fields, author of 'He's Gone, You're Back: The Right Way To Get Over Mr. Wrong'.

"It's a blow to our ego and self-esteem, and understandably so, which is unfortunate because sometimes infidelity is not about us, it's about the man, his choices and issues."

Both Fields and Coach Brody say there are healthier ways to express hurt, which may not end up with jail time. Fields, who calls any behavior of this sort "the abyss," says you should cry, scream, pray, laugh and exercise.

Coach Brody explains that this negative behavior is an uncontrolled emotional response to the situation, but there is a way out. The (crazy) thoughts in your mind invariably lead you to (crazy) actions.

"So now that you are at the point where you are experiencing all this emotion, you have a choice as to how you want the rest of this process to unfold," says the Luv Coach. "It is easy to imagine or picture the relationship your partner has with this other person, and this will cause you to get even more worked up. What happens to you when all these crazy thoughts are circulating in your mind? This is the moment where you feel the need to do something.

Clients of Coach Brody are given a detailed program which outlines ways to deflate negative thoughts -- which lead to negative actions.

"You need to come up with a new positive belief that will enable you to redirect your thoughts so you don't spiral into the crazy zone," she says.

In short, think before you act, and know that if you do something truly crazy, the anvil comes crashing down on you.

"The problem with catching the crazy is that once you have crossed the line and done something truly crazy, like defacing property, then the emphasis of the situation transfers from cheating to destroying property," cautions Coach Brody.

"If you smash up a car, burn down a home, or physically assault your partner or the person they cheated with, then you will be the one legally responsible. You could end up in jail, or in the hospital. The focus turns to your reaction to the situation, instead of the cheating which is the reason you had this crazy outburst in the first place.

And if you truly want to think ahead, you might want to hold off on that property thing -- especially if married.

"if you are married to this person and you do not want to reconcile, it is better to divorce them and take everything they have," says the Luv Coach. "You do not want to damage property that is rightfully yours."

Rebecca Brody is currently a Life Empowerment coach in New York City. Her area of expertise is in relationship coaching. She is a graduate of Vassar and Ipec, and has trained with the Relationship Coaching Institute. She is ICF certified, and has been studying social interaction, relationships and coupling for over a decade. To work with Coach Brody contact Brody@theluvcoach.com, or go to www.theluvcoach.com

To contact Kerika Fields, go to www.hesgoneyoureback.com