I opened up several new credit card accounts to get my friends and family gifts this year. I didn't tell my husband what I did because I knew he would get upset. He just got laid off, and now I am the only one making money for our family. We will barely be able to live off of my salary, so my husband suggested we open up a few credit card accounts to get us through until he gets a new job. I think I should hide the old cards until I can pay them off myself. Any advice?

It's time to dust off your marriage vows, and remember the values you set down for your marriage. When you choose to hide your credit card bills from your husband you are being deceitful, and that will inevitably lead to mistrust and betrayal within your marriage. Always ask yourself "What's the worst that could happen if I tell him about these credit card bills?" You need to put your choice in perspective, and understand that a few bills will not break your marriage, but lies, deceit, and mistrust will most certainly damage it.

My husband and I have been trying to work through our marriage ever since I found out that he had several affairs. We have decided to stay together and we are going to start working with a relationship coach after the holidays. The problem is that our kids are coming home and they will suspect that something is going on. I don't want to tell them that their father cheated, but I also can't pretend that everything is okay within our marriage. Our kids and everyone in our town believe that he is this great guy, but I know the truth. I am very angry with him and sometimes I want to tell the world that he is a betrayer and a cheater. Should I just lie to my family and friends and pretend like nothing is wrong?

It is very difficult to deal with the myriad of feelings that come with being betrayed by a loved one. The pain, anger, frustration, and shame can drive us to make choices that are not within our own interest or in the interest of our families. It is understandable that you would want to hurt your husband the way that he hurt you, and it seems that he prides himself on his reputation within the community, therefore spreading his infidelity and marring his name seems like a satisfying form of vengeance. The question you want to ask yourself is what is your true intention towards your marriage? If you want to work out your issues and try to stay together, then revenge is not a healthy choice to help you reach your goal. You need to find new ways to release your anger. Telling the truth to your friends and family is a good idea, but work out the best way for you to communicate what is going on in your marriage. You do not need to give details. You can simply tell friends and family that you and your husband are having some trouble in your marriage and that you are working it out. Be honest with yourself, be honest with your husband, and certainly be honest with your friends and family, because living a lie will never serve you.