By Rebecca Brody, BlackVoices.com
My boyfriend is a liberal Democrat who believes that abortion should be legal, but I grew up Catholic and I don't think it's right to terminate a life once it has been conceived. They say opposites attract, but it seems like our different views have lead us into heated debates. Is it possible to be with someone who doesn't believe what I believe?
The College Survival Guide
A Fridge
Regardless of whether you have a wonderful sized meal plan, your fridge may come in handy with leftovers or when you feel like stocking it with bottled drinks.
Computer
The convenience of a computer is essential when sending your kids off to college. Forget the hike to the computer lab across campus students need a computer in the comfort of their room. A printer comes in handy as well. Depending on whether your child plans to carry his laptop around campus, you might opt for a desk top since they're lighter on the pockets.
Snacks
You will surely survive with off of a meal plan but it doesn't hurt to stock up on snacks when you don't feel like leaving your dorm room. Bottled water, pop corn, cereal and Ramen noodles are all low budget snacks to stock up on. Just be weary of the freshman 15.
Things from home
Some college students suffer from homesickness the first year. It's best to surround yourself with things like photos of the family, pillows or even stuffed animals. Anything that reminds your child of home.
MP3 Player
With all the stress that comes from school and exams, sometimes it's nice to block out the chaos in your life and even your roommate with music. It's nearly impossible to find students walking to class who aren't jamming to tunes.
Budget
Students who enter college often come in at the ripening age of 18. A great time for credit cards. Parents beware, your child may end up ruining their credit at a young age
Alarm Clock
When you're in college you don't have the luxury of getting awaken by your parents. It's now your responsibility to get to class on time so alarm clocks are a must. But keep your roommate in mind. You shouldn't wake him up ever morning with a blow horn alarm.
Cleaning supplies
Now you don't necessarily need to bring in the rubber gloves, mop and gas mask but it doesn't hurt to bring along Clorox all purpose wipes for spills or dust. Vacuums and brooms come in handy too depending if you have a carpeted dorm.
Bedding
What most parents aren't aware of is that most college beds are twin sized but extra long and require special sheets. When shopping keep your eye open for sheets that clearly state 'extra long' or else your child may come up short.
Shower shoes
You really don't know what some people do in the shower these days. College showers are known to be creeping with germs so spare yourself the fungus and purchase flip flops for the shower. You'll thank us later!
As a couple, it is not necessary to agree with each other on every point in order to have a successful and healthy relationship. You are both individuals who may come from very different social, cultural, and economic backgrounds, and who have unique perspectives on life. The key is to respect that other people's opinions will be different, yet they are no less valid than your own. Pro-Life and Pro- Choice are hot button topics. You defend the rights of those unborn, and he defends the rights of a woman to decide what is best for her body. The common ground you can look to is the understanding that you both have a fiery passion for the rights of human beings. The real issue here is that you fear he will not want you to keep your baby if you were to get pregnant. You need to deepen the lines of communication to not only let him know that you would keep your child, but find out if he would accept his responsibility as a father.
My daughter came home from college and told us she is going to vote for Obama. We raised her to be a Republican, and I have to admit I feel betrayed. I don't know who she is anymore. How can I get her to understand that I just want the best for her, and that's why she should follow our lead?
It sounds like your daughter is as strong willed as you are, and since the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, it's likely you will butt heads. College is a great time to explore your own beliefs and question whether the ones you were raised with are still working for you. This does not mean you are losing a child, rather you are seeing her blossom before your eyes. It is not easy for a parent to relinquish control over their child, but at some point you have to let children become adults. The reason why we send our children to be educated away from home is so that they can form independent and educated opinions on life, and learn to make healthy choices for themselves. Your daughter is thinking for herself, and that is a key component in the development of a healthy adult. She does not conform to your ideals or follow others blindly, and you should be very proud you raised an independent thinker. Instead of trying to change her choice by will, have an open dialogue so that you can better understand why she has made this specific choice. Feel free to debate the points, and remember that her choice is not a personal attack on you and the way you raised her, but rather her evolution into becoming an adult.
Express Yourself!
Rebecca Brody is currently a Life Empowerment coach in New York City. Her area of expertise is in relationship coaching. She is a graduate of Vassar and Ipec, and has trained with the Relationship Coaching Institute. She is ICF certified, and has been studying social interaction, relationships and coupling for over a decade. To work with Coach Brody contact Brody@theluvcoach.com, or go to www.theluvcoach.com
Comments: (8)
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By: R. Harris on 10/09/2008 12:19PM
As for the family in the second story, spoken like a true Republican. You seek to control people. You don't want them to have their own mind or opinions. Your daughter sounds like she is strong-willed. And in case you haven't noticed, the Republican party is sinking faster than the Titanic. That party is full of empty rhetoric and even emptier morals. They are two-faced and uses smoke screens to hide the real issues. The only reason they say they try to help African-Americans is because they want the votes. I say that your daughter doesn't believe the hype. Instead of chastising her, you need to embrace her.
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By: Jamie on 10/09/2008 2:42PM
I feel very sorry for the mother in the second story. Don't worry, your daughter will see the light some day. I mean, she's in college what do you expect? The majority of colleges are full of pinko commies in the first place!
Just say something like: Dear Daughter... Welcome to the party of:
Labor Unions
Higher Taxes
A Weaker Military
Radical Environmentalists
Trial Lawyers
Racial Preferences
Welfare Entitlements
Radical Feminists
Nanniest Regulations
Minority Activists
The Academic Left
The Hollywood Left
Hopefully she won't be asking for handouts or the government to run her life for her in the future.
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By: Mike on 10/10/2008 1:00AM
People may grow up in certain types of households, but everyone develops their own opinions and viewpoints that may differ from how they were raised. I think some families(including certain members of my own) need to get a grip, as well as a clue, and understand that just because they are family doesn't mean they have to agree with you. Nor should they be punished because they decide to do so.
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By: Anita on 10/11/2008 7:36PM
I heard a news clips where Clinton Portis, a football star for the Washington Redskins said he was considering not voting because "he was making Republican money". Hmm, I gave him the benefit of the doubt when I heard him say something ignorant when Michael Vick got arrested for dogfighting. But that statement shows he truly does not think.
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By: Earl Woodland on 10/13/2008 12:37PM
I think that we need to learn to respect each others political views. Each person is an unique individual and have different perspectives on things.
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By: Kevin St Pete FL on 10/13/2008 11:50PM
Let just say this: No matter who they vote for, just remember that they are your child, husband, wife, what have you. So long as they go out and vote, it should not matter. They have a difference of opinion, which maybe different than yours, meaning they percieve the world differently in their eyes instead of yours. My wife who I've been married to for almost 11 years, is not voting for Obama, nor is she voting for McCain, but she is voting for Cynthia McKinney, a stalwart member of the Democratic Party running on the Green Party Ticket. So you want to ask what's the point? My point is that MY candidate MAY NOT sit well with her, and her candidate MAY NOT sit well with me, and we both make grat arguments for our respective candidates, but when all is said and done, we simply agree to disagree.
All I'm saying is this: Parents, if you teach your child right from wrong and raise them to be upstanding citizens, and you teach the the IMPORTANCE OF VOTING (not trying to force your candidate or party affiliation on them), then you have done your job, and I ask you to support their decision. For couples, I simply ask that you support their choice in a candidate. Who they want to be president maybe different from yours, but the love they have for you WILL NEVER change.
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By: rj on 10/14/2008 1:25PM
I find the voting issue surprising. As a registered republican I would not vote for the republican ticket this election and can not believe that any thinking person would, especially a thinking person of color.
Am I wrong?
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By: bill on 10/14/2008 9:00PM
I agree
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