Luv Coach Q&A: Unemployment Woes!

I am a mother of two and my husband just lost his job with Lehman Brothers. He has been working there for two years and even though we have our savings, he doesn't think he will be able to find a new job because thousands of people have been laid off. I tried to be supportive by telling him he would, but he is very depressed. What do I do to help out?

The current economic crisis in America looks bleak for the millions of people who are affected by the crash of Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, Fannie May, Freddie Mac, Washington Mutual, Merrill Lynch, Citigroup, and AIG. Sit down with your husband and create a budget check list. It's time to tighten the reigns on your spending. You want to know exactly where your money is going so that you know how long you can support your family with your current savings. It's time to spend your money on needs only, and that means getting rid of any unnecessary spending. When you shop for needs, make sure to buy items that are on sale. This will decrease the stress on your savings, and give your family more time to find another source of income. As for your husband, let him know that you love and support him, and ask him how you can be of assistance in helping him find a new job. In a highly competitive job market it is best to stay positive and pick out the specific strengths that make you different and better than your competition. Let him know that as a family you work together, and this is a great opportunity to spend some family time bonding with each other.

The High Price of Oil

My boyfriend has been unemployed for six months and doesn't seem to care whether he gets a new job or not. I am paying all the bills. Even though we have made a commitment to be together and I should be supportive, I'm tired of paying for everything. I love him and I want to be with him, but I feel like he isn't doing his part. Should I stay or go?

It is not easy being in a situation where you feel you should support the person you love, but are not receiving that same support in return. Before you decide to leave, you want to try and make it work by communicating your concerns and frustrations. This is not an ultimatum, so don't present the situation that you will leave him if he doesn't get his life in gear. Instead, approach it positively by asking him to be your hero. Let him know that you need help supporting the lifestyle you live together, and that the best way for him to do that is by contributing financially. It is time to have a candid conversation about the kind of support that you need to make this relationship work. That means clearly defining what you need from him and asking him what he needs from you so that he can gain employment. Work as a team to help him move forward in his career, and ask him to keep you informed each step of the way so that you can offer advice and help. After communicating your needs, see if he takes action and changes his approach to finding a job. If you believe he isn't trying, then you can consider moving on with your life.