I have just been proposed to by a wonderful man -- he is Jewish and I am not. We are planning a spring wedding, and I wanted to know how we can incorporate his traditions as well as my own into our wedding ceremony.
The melding of traditions within a wedding ceremony is a beautiful idea, and if you choose to do so, you want to make sure that you choose the traditions that apply to, and are most important to your fiance and his family. Find out if they are Ashkenazi (Eastern European or Germanic descent) or Sephardi Jews (descendent from the Iberian Peninsula), or if they are strict orthodox. Your choice of traditions will depend upon their Jewish heritage, so do the research to learn about the traditions that apply to his family. First ask your fiancé what type of wedding he would like to have, and if he agrees with your idea of melding traditions. Involve his mother in the planning process. This is a great opportunity to connect with his family, and it shows them that you respect and honor their faith and traditions.
The College Survival Guide
A Fridge
Regardless of whether you have a wonderful sized meal plan, your fridge may come in handy with leftovers or when you feel like stocking it with bottled drinks.
Computer
The convenience of a computer is essential when sending your kids off to college. Forget the hike to the computer lab across campus students need a computer in the comfort of their room. A printer comes in handy as well. Depending on whether your child plans to carry his laptop around campus, you might opt for a desk top since they're lighter on the pockets.
Snacks
You will surely survive with off of a meal plan but it doesn't hurt to stock up on snacks when you don't feel like leaving your dorm room. Bottled water, pop corn, cereal and Ramen noodles are all low budget snacks to stock up on. Just be weary of the freshman 15.
Things from home
Some college students suffer from homesickness the first year. It's best to surround yourself with things like photos of the family, pillows or even stuffed animals. Anything that reminds your child of home.
MP3 Player
With all the stress that comes from school and exams, sometimes it's nice to block out the chaos in your life and even your roommate with music. It's nearly impossible to find students walking to class who aren't jamming to tunes.
Budget
Students who enter college often come in at the ripening age of 18. A great time for credit cards. Parents beware, your child may end up ruining their credit at a young age
Alarm Clock
When you're in college you don't have the luxury of getting awaken by your parents. It's now your responsibility to get to class on time so alarm clocks are a must. But keep your roommate in mind. You shouldn't wake him up ever morning with a blow horn alarm.
Cleaning supplies
Now you don't necessarily need to bring in the rubber gloves, mop and gas mask but it doesn't hurt to bring along Clorox all purpose wipes for spills or dust. Vacuums and brooms come in handy too depending if you have a carpeted dorm.
Bedding
What most parents aren't aware of is that most college beds are twin sized but extra long and require special sheets. When shopping keep your eye open for sheets that clearly state 'extra long' or else your child may come up short.
Shower shoes
You really don't know what some people do in the shower these days. College showers are known to be creeping with germs so spare yourself the fungus and purchase flip flops for the shower. You'll thank us later!
My boyfriend was my associate for at least 10 years. We've been dating for 2 years now, and I just found out that he has a 6 year old daughter. He is always crying broke even though he works. He is handsome, really good in bed, and is a nice guy over all, but I can't help but think he is hiding something. He will not bring me around his family and I just learned that he has a sister and two brothers. He just told me that he is going to his oldest brothers house for Labor Day and I'm not allowed to come. I don't understand any of this. He is 41 and he asked me to marry him but he did not give me a ring or anything else. He is always nice to me, but hates to spend money on me and he is hiding me from his family and his friends. I told him last night that it was over because I just could not take the games anymore. Do you think I did the right thing?
The question you should ask yourself is not "Did I do the right thing in choosing to end this relationship" but rather "Did I do the right thing in choosing to honor and respect myself." You were experiencing a closed relationship, where one partner lacked the ability to open up and share their self and their life with the other. This does not allow for growth or connection with one another, and leads to an unstable relationship because you always feel like he is hiding something from you. You made a very healthy and conscious choice to leave this relationship behind and move forward with your life. Take the time now to heal and create a vision of the type of healthy relationship you want to have with someone who will love and honor you. Marriage is about sharing your life with a partner, so choose a person who has similar relationship values and beliefs. Together you can truly share your lives with each other.
The College Survival Guide
A Fridge
Regardless of whether you have a wonderful sized meal plan, your fridge may come in handy with leftovers or when you feel like stocking it with bottled drinks.
Computer
The convenience of a computer is essential when sending your kids off to college. Forget the hike to the computer lab across campus students need a computer in the comfort of their room. A printer comes in handy as well. Depending on whether your child plans to carry his laptop around campus, you might opt for a desk top since they're lighter on the pockets.
Snacks
You will surely survive with off of a meal plan but it doesn't hurt to stock up on snacks when you don't feel like leaving your dorm room. Bottled water, pop corn, cereal and Ramen noodles are all low budget snacks to stock up on. Just be weary of the freshman 15.
Things from home
Some college students suffer from homesickness the first year. It's best to surround yourself with things like photos of the family, pillows or even stuffed animals. Anything that reminds your child of home.
MP3 Player
With all the stress that comes from school and exams, sometimes it's nice to block out the chaos in your life and even your roommate with music. It's nearly impossible to find students walking to class who aren't jamming to tunes.
Budget
Students who enter college often come in at the ripening age of 18. A great time for credit cards. Parents beware, your child may end up ruining their credit at a young age
Alarm Clock
When you're in college you don't have the luxury of getting awaken by your parents. It's now your responsibility to get to class on time so alarm clocks are a must. But keep your roommate in mind. You shouldn't wake him up ever morning with a blow horn alarm.
Cleaning supplies
Now you don't necessarily need to bring in the rubber gloves, mop and gas mask but it doesn't hurt to bring along Clorox all purpose wipes for spills or dust. Vacuums and brooms come in handy too depending if you have a carpeted dorm.
Bedding
What most parents aren't aware of is that most college beds are twin sized but extra long and require special sheets. When shopping keep your eye open for sheets that clearly state 'extra long' or else your child may come up short.
Shower shoes
You really don't know what some people do in the shower these days. College showers are known to be creeping with germs so spare yourself the fungus and purchase flip flops for the shower. You'll thank us later!
Rebecca Brody is currently a Life Empowerment coach in New York City. Her area of expertise is in relationship coaching. She is a graduate of Vassar and Ipec, and has trained with the Relationship Coaching Institute. She is ICF certified, and has been studying social interaction, relationships and coupling for over a decade. To work with Coach Brody contact Brody@theluvcoach.com, or go to www.theluvcoach.com
Comments: (4)
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By: Jade on 9/28/2008 10:47AM
To the second situation,
He has an ex girlfriend that is very tight with the family and is also his expected wife, hence this is why he does'nt want you to know too much about him. If you begin to know the family, you will eventually find out about the long-time girlfriend. He purposed to you to keep you interested in him while he decides if he wants to marry her. Hell yea, you did the right thing by dumping him.
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By: carl bryant on 9/29/2008 12:45AM
Dump this character he is playing you. If was after alady I would take to see my family.I would be proud to show her off to any body wants to see her or not. take that to the bank.
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By: Monica on 9/30/2008 11:35AM
On the 2nd one. That man is Married girl! He has 2 lives so he doesn't get caught. You did the right thing by ending it, but make sure it stays ended. He will try and come back trust me. If he didn't have another life to hid he would have told you about his daughter from the get go and you would have met her after 2 years, think about it!
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By: Shawn on 10/30/2008 9:38PM
You did the right thing by letting go. I know it's hard but if you believe in god he will seek you through it. Want nobody understand your pain but god. I been there so I know it hurts.
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