My fiancé and I have been together for 3 years and we are planning to wed this summer. I am the child of a broken home, and my parents divorced when I was 9. I love my man with all my heart and I want to spend my life with him, but what if it doesn't work out? How do we solve the problems so they don't end in divorce?
It is natural to feel fear as the wedding day approaches. Making a commitment for life should never be entered into lightly, but if you know this is the person who is right for you, then let go of the fear, and allow your happiness to bloom. The keys to a successful marriage are balance, communicating openly and honestly, trusting that each person is a whole, and approaching every issue as a team. In order to achieve balance make sure to nurture your relationship as it grows, and give yourself quality "me" time to take care of your own personal needs and wants. To communicate openly and honestly, take time once a week to talk about any issues that may be on your mind. Allow your partner to do the same. You want to listen to each other, but do not attempt to fix anything in the moment, but rather trust that your partner has heard what you have to say and will make adjustments. Lastly, you want to approach the important decisions as a team. Always keep in mind what the shared vision for your future will be, so that each decision you make will reflect the direction that you both want to take. 
I am getting married next month, and as the time approaches I find myself worrying about what will happen after the wedding. Will anything change once we are married? What does it mean to make it official?
Yes, things will change when you get married because change is an inevitability of life. It is the one thing you can depend upon, and the beauty of it is that you get to decide how you want your relationship to grow and change, and how to respond to that change. You are embarking on a new life journey when you take your vows and at your side is your partner. In order to make positive changes, you want to grow together and experience life with each other. You decide what it means to make your relationship official. You are now in the role of husband and wife, and you should have a clear idea worked out with your partner as to what that means. Remember to create a shared vision of your life together and before you go to sleep each night check in with your partner and reconnect and strengthen your bond. Make sure to take one evening a week and have date night. Plan something special to do together that allows you to focus on each other and gives you a break from the daily routines. All things change, but it is your choice how you want them to change. Focus on the positive so that you continue to have a deep level of intimacy and support.
Rebecca Brody is currently a Life Empowerment coach in New York City. Her area of expertise is in relationship coaching. She is a graduate of Vassar and Ipec, and has trained with the Relationship Coaching Institute. She is ICF certified, and has been studying social interaction, relationships and coupling for over a decade. To work with Coach Brody contact Brody@theluvcoach.com, or go to www.theluvcoach.comBride Takes the Cake
- Bride Takes the Cake
Beautiful bride Chidi Ogbuta of Allen, Texas had this life-sized wedding cake made to look just like her. (Photo: Uche Ogbonna, uchephoto.com)
- Bride Takes the Cake
Here is the blushing bride in her gorgeous and unique dress. (Photo: Uche Ogbonna, uchephoto.com)
- Bride Takes the Cake
The re-creation of this gown as a cake is truly stunning! And the bride's likeness is incredible. (Photo: Uche Ogbonna, uchephoto.com)
- Bride Takes the Cake
According to CNN.com, Ogbuta had a life-long dream of having a doll created in her likeness. Her wedding cake is the fulfillment of this dream. (Photo: Uche Ogbonna, uchephoto.com)
- Bride Takes the Cake
Chidi worked with two chefs in two cities to develop the cake. One chef created the body, the other the head. (Photo: Uche Ogbonna, uchephoto.com)
- Bride Takes the Cake
The cake caused a scene at the wedding as guests snapped pictures, but the guests received their pieces on time. (Photo: Uche Ogbonna, uchephoto.com)
- Bride Takes the Cake
The bride and groom sample the bride's cake likeness. It would be a week before the entire cake was finished. (Photo: Uche Ogbonna, uchephoto.com)
- Bride Takes the Cake
Chidi Ogbuta's wedding cake helped make her childhood dream come true -- and her nuptials an event no guest will ever forget! (Photo: Uche Ogbonna, uchephoto.com)
Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds Pictures
**FILE**Eddie Murphy accepts the Golden Globe for best supporting actor for his work in "Dreamgirls" from presenter Rachel Weisz at the 64th Annual Golden Globe Awards in this Jan. 2007 file photo, in Beverly Hills, Calif. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association said Monday, Jan. 7, 2008 that the traditional Golden Globe Awards ceremony has been canceled and will be replaced with a news conference format. (AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian)
AP
LOS ANGELES - SEPTEMBER 19: (FILE PHOTO) Producer Tracey Edmonds (L) and actor Eddie Murphy pose at the afterparty for the premiere of Lionsgate's "Good Luck Chuck" at the Napa Valley Grille on September 19, 2007 in Los Angeles, California. It was announced on January 1, 2008 that actor Eddie Murphy married producer Tracey Edmonds in a ceremony on a private island off Bora Bora in French Polynesia after being engaged in July. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
Getty Images
LOS ANGELES - SEPTEMBER 19: (FILE PHOTO) Producer Tracey Edmonds (L) and actor Eddie Murphy arrive at the premiere of Lionsgate's "Good Luck Chuck" at the National Theater on September 19, 2007 in Los Angeles, California. It was announced on January 1, 2008 that actor Eddie Murphy married producer Tracey Edmonds in a ceremony on a private island off Bora Bora in French Polynesia after being engaged in July. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
Getty Images
** FILE ** In a file photo Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds arrive at "Movies Rock: A Celebration of Music in Film," at the Kodak Theater in Los Angeles, Sunday, Dec. 2, 2007. The pair were married Tuesday, Jan. 1, 2008, on a private island off Bora Bora in French Polynesia in front of a small group of family and friends, their representatives told People magazine. (AP Photo/Chris Pizzello/File)
AP
Actor Eddie Murphy arrives at Cond Nast Media Group's 2007 Movies Rock at the Kodak Theater on December 2, 2007 in Hollywood, California..Cond Nast Media Group Presents 2007 Movies Rock - Arrivals.Kodak Theater.Hollywood, California United States.December 2, 2007.Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage.com..To license this image (15203450), contact WireImage:.U.S. +1-212-686-8900 / U.K. +44-207-868-8940 / Australia +61-2-8262-9222 / Germany +49-40-320-05521 / Japan: +81-3-5464-7020.+1 212-686-8901 (fax).info@wireimage.com (e-mail).www.wireimage.com (web site)
WireImage.com
Actor Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds arrive at Cond Nast Media Group's 2007 Movies Rock at the Kodak Theater on December 2, 2007 in Hollywood, California..Cond Nast Media Group Presents 2007 Movies Rock - Arrivals.Kodak Theater.Hollywood, California United States.December 2, 2007.Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage.com..To license this image (15203449), contact WireImage:.U.S. +1-212-686-8900 / U.K. +44-207-868-8940 / Australia +61-2-8262-9222 / Germany +49-40-320-05521 / Japan: +81-3-5464-7020.+1 212-686-8901 (fax).info@wireimage.com (e-mail).www.wireimage.com (web site)
WireImage.com
Actor Eddie Murphy (R) and Tracey Edmonds arrive at Cond Nast Media Group's 2007 Movies Rock at the Kodak Theater on December 2, 2007 in Hollywood, California..Cond Nast Media Group Presents 2007 Movies Rock - Arrivals.Kodak Theater.Hollywood, California United States.December 2, 2007.Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage.com..To license this image (15203447), contact WireImage:.U.S. +1-212-686-8900 / U.K. +44-207-868-8940 / Australia +61-2-8262-9222 / Germany +49-40-320-05521 / Japan: +81-3-5464-7020.+1 212-686-8901 (fax).info@wireimage.com (e-mail).www.wireimage.com (web site)
WireImage.com
Actor Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds arrive at Cond Nast Media Group's 2007 Movies Rock at the Kodak Theater on December 2, 2007 in Hollywood, California..Cond Nast Media Group Presents 2007 Movies Rock - Arrivals.Kodak Theater.Hollywood, California United States.December 2, 2007.Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage.com..To license this image (15203446), contact WireImage:.U.S. +1-212-686-8900 / U.K. +44-207-868-8940 / Australia +61-2-8262-9222 / Germany +49-40-320-05521 / Japan: +81-3-5464-7020.+1 212-686-8901 (fax).info@wireimage.com (e-mail).www.wireimage.com (web site)
WireImage.com
Actor Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds arrive at Cond Nast Media Group's 2007 Movies Rock at the Kodak Theater on December 2, 2007 in Hollywood, California..Cond Nast Media Group Presents 2007 Movies Rock - Arrivals.Kodak Theater.Hollywood, California United States.December 2, 2007.Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage.com..To license this image (15203445), contact WireImage:.U.S. +1-212-686-8900 / U.K. +44-207-868-8940 / Australia +61-2-8262-9222 / Germany +49-40-320-05521 / Japan: +81-3-5464-7020.+1 212-686-8901 (fax).info@wireimage.com (e-mail).www.wireimage.com (web site)
WireImage.com
Actor Eddie Murphy (R) and Tracey Edmonds arrive at Cond Nast Media Group's 2007 Movies Rock at the Kodak Theater on December 2, 2007 in Hollywood, California..Cond Nast Media Group Presents 2007 Movies Rock - Arrivals.Kodak Theater.Hollywood, California United States.December 2, 2007.Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage.com..To license this image (15203443), contact WireImage:.U.S. +1-212-686-8900 / U.K. +44-207-868-8940 / Australia +61-2-8262-9222 / Germany +49-40-320-05521 / Japan: +81-3-5464-7020.+1 212-686-8901 (fax).info@wireimage.com (e-mail).www.wireimage.com (web site)
WireImage.com
Comments: (8)
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By: Jade on 6/14/2008 12:27PM
Very unique, bold and out of the box, yet quite creepy. The cake looks just like or even better than the bride. The decorator is amazing.
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By: Ms. Sonta on 6/14/2008 3:05PM
That cake is very unique. I like it but would not ever want it done for me.
As for the topic of this blog I too am from a broken home and I am will be marrying my soul mate August 2 of this year. I just pray daily and know that God would not put us together if he did not know we were made for each other. I love him and he loves me. Don't be afraid let God guide your paths and everything will be ok.
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By: Bettie on 6/14/2008 11:27PM
I like that cake. She is the first person that I have seen with a cake made of herself. I think it is very unique and different.
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By: classy1 on 6/15/2008 1:14PM
Creepy is right Jade! I wonder what they thought when the cake's head was cut off...creepy indeed!
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By: Phill on 6/19/2008 8:09PM
Scandal video!!! Britney Spears's new
sex tape! Here:
http://celebzvidz.com/video.php?v=Britney_New_sex_tape
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By: Jan from North Haledon on 6/19/2008 8:26PM
To be afraid that things will change once you are married is not unfounded. When I remarried it was like a page turned in a book shortly after the ring went on my finger. Suddenly my husband became controlling and the king of passive/agressive behavior. Once his children came to live with us after a long custody battle, it was like the book on our marriage closed! Not just me, but my daughter, where back burnered in the family unit. I finally took control of my life and left. It wasn't until several years later that I was appreciated for all I did for his children and him. Well, things always change once you get married....sometimes for the better, sometimes not....for me my experience both times was negative. Good luck to you in your marriage...it's a crap shoot. You can work your ass off at it and it fails.
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By: FLAME on 6/19/2008 8:45PM
Well been married twice , First time as soon as we got married he owned me , had to stop seeing friends was jealous of my family , mistreated our kids , was jealous of them , because i spent so much time caring for them,, divorced him after 8 yrs . Now beem married 32 yrs , i got married first time at 17 . after 25 yrs found out he was cheating on me with a women at his work ,, I tolf him to get out , he thought about it and realized the grass was not greener somewhere else , it was a hot little fling because he was having male menapause ?? felt sorry for himself he was getting older and wanted some new stuff , I took him back , am i sorry ? Yes a little , i am still his maid , i have a great meal for him everynight , his house is spotless , have had to live away from my family last 12 yrs because of his job , and my grand baby's . and i will get to go home in a box , we can never afford to go back , and no jobs for someone 63 . So now as i look back , yes i am sorry , i missed out on everything i have wanted in life , Now it is to late to really change it , Good Luck Lady's as i would tell my grandkids , do not marry , do what you want live with them . what yours is yours and his is his ,
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By: Teri Dudley on 6/19/2008 9:11PM
I don't want to be hurtful but that cake is narcissistic. It's all about me, me, me. There are people hurting & starving and she gets a cake made of herself?
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