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By Rebecca Brody, Certified Empowerment Coach
A guy that I have been dating claims that he can't get hard with a condom. What is a polite way to say that I don't have sex without a condom?
When a man tells you that he does not want to use a condom, the message he is sending you is that he does not value his own life, and he certainly does not value yours. We live in an era where STD's are easily spread, but we have the means to protect ourselves. If you care about yourself, you will not put yourself at risk. The best answer is to tell your man that you only have sex with a condom, because you value yourself and you value him, and you want both of you to live a long and healthy life.
When do guys expect girls to start paying for a dinner?
I believe that women and men are equal partners in a relationship, so while you are still in the dating stage the person who did the asking should do the paying. If he asked you to dinner, then he should pay, but if you asked him, then you should pay.
My new boyfriend is planning to get a job at a place where my old boyfriend works. How do I tell him that my ex works there, and should I ask him not to work there? I want to support his decision to take the job, but I'm afraid of what might happen when they meet.
Although this is an uncomfortable situation to be in, you cannot ask your boyfriend to sacrifice his means of living. Be honest with your boyfriend, so that he can prepare himself for the situation ahead. You want to send the message that you have successfully moved on from your last relationship, and that your commitment to your current relationship is what is most important to you now. You can ask your boyfriend to keep his interaction with your ex professional, but in the end it is up to him to decide their working relationship. Let your boyfriend know that you trust him to do what is best for both you and him, and that your relationship with each other is all that really matters.
Rebecca Brody is currently a Life Empowerment coach in New York City. Her area of expertise is in relationship coaching. She is a graduate of Vassar and Ipec, and has trained with the Relationship Coaching Institute. She is ICF certified, and has been studying social interaction, relationships and coupling for over a decade. To work with Coach Brody contact Brody@theluvcoach.com, or go to www.theluvcoach.com
Comments: (53)
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By: Floyd on 3/14/2008 7:26PM
It is interesting about your situation, I see a red flag flying high. It could be that your friend may already have a STD. If so, he should have the common decency to use every precaution to protect you, I could be wrong but something isn't right about it.
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By: Righty Whitey on 3/16/2008 8:08PM
CONDOMS KEEP KIDS FROM HAVING TO ASK.
IS YOU MY DADDY ?
LORDY LORDY !
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By: J Brown on 3/19/2008 8:02AM
If you are not communicating on an open level sex seems to be pulling the cart befor the horse.
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By: Sucio on 3/19/2008 8:02AM
I certainly agrre about the condom thing and the work situation you mentioned herein. In a greater light when it comes to dating theres no right or wrong way of who should pay. in my opinion a woman who's claiming independance even when the man ask her out, should at least ask him if he'd like her to help with the bill to assure that theres no mixed signals the will later cause for an unconfortable chat to weary the love or enjoyment that's being sought that night or any other there after. NOw let him decide and or ou decide before the date that just incase i should at least bring a few dollars to help out if i need to. and likewise the man should when she ask hi out that way both parties keep it clear as to the direction their always going in. no ones left out and not ones felt used of misinterpreted. when both give clear asnwers as to yes i might need help paying or no i got this one you both can feel at ease while leaving or at least at the register.
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By: Crystal Cornitcher on 3/19/2008 9:06AM
There's no 'polite way" to say "I won't have sex with you without a condom". Trust me on this one. All you do is just say it.
Now you can choose a affirming tone in which to say "I won't have sex with you without a condom." But I find it's easier to just say it,"I'm sorry, and as much as I care about you, I won't have sex with you without a condom." This is non- negotiable! If heor she's a good guy or girl, he or she will appreciate you for it in the long run.
And if he or she decides to not be with you becuse you won't risk your life for aa few minutes of pleasure then they weren't meant for you in the first place! Bottom line!
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By: Lisa A Black Sister on 3/19/2008 10:56AM
Trust me its not worth it. I ended up with a Baby after an hour of pleasure. The pleasure is gone but the results of that is walking around here talking. Don't get me wrong I LOVE MY DAUGHTER if I could do it over again I would. Its Not Worth it nor is the DRAMA that comes with it.......
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By: topaz on 3/19/2008 11:27AM
you only have one life, there are no second chances.
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By: D MAC on 3/19/2008 12:02PM
What?
Ladies and Gentlemen.
Take my advice and many like me.I am a young black male who had so many woman in college it was terrific.
But, I also did not trust some of them and did not want any babies in my life.I always wore a cap, jimmy, raincoat, condom, sleeve, protection.The act of sex to me is the greatest high and sex with/ without a condom is the same - with less worry and sometimes better performance with condom because you do have that protection on.
People watch Maury. There is too many dumb, easy, sleezy woman out there.And too many selfish, irresponsible boys pretending to be men.
Always look out for yourself, Love thyself!!!Go with your gut. Too many babies made by the moment,mistake.
Lets get morals, and plan families,and future, and make babies out of love.
Peace
Vote for change!!
Vote for Obama!
1
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By: wayne on 3/19/2008 12:09PM
A tisket a tasket a condom or a casket
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By: Alicia on 3/19/2008 12:29PM
If your mate is asking or telling you that he/she likes to have sex with out a condom, ya'll should be married or on your way to the alter. Condoms can be your best friend. Ask your mate if they want a baseball team of kids, or would they like a shake with that STD. If ya'll or just starting to date and that statment comes up, run away as fast as you can and never look back!
aLiCiA
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